Haven't updated in nearly a month.
Sorry, I forgot!
Nothing personal. :-)
Galveston mission trip was phenomenal. God blessed me by making a way for me to go, and blessed me even more by working through me on the mission field in Galveston. The most interesting thing about my experience was that my purpose was not wholly to serve the people in Galveston, but also minister to and encourage other team members from Glenview. I returned home with a new good friend, who is now a follower of Christ as of two weeks ago. Not only is God blessing me with a good friend, but He is also giving me the opportunity to disciple a new believer.
God has been building me up lately, for a leadership role... now I'm pretty sure I know why.
As my faithful readers, I ask that you pray for me.. that I keep up with my devotions with God and continue to grow in him as I face the challenges of teaching.
Also pray that I can get a "Paul" to help disciple me also.
I may post more often, depending if I can remember. I've had a lot on my mind lately that I want to post or update on.
I guess we'll see.
Blessings,
Katie
Showing posts with label Church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Church. Show all posts
Apr 9, 2009
Mar 12, 2009
I'm going to Galveston.
God blessed me.
:-)
InOtherNews:
I've been thinking about what I'm going to do after high school. I'm going to be a senior pretty soon, so I suppose it's about time to think about it.
I spoke with my painting teacher on Monday about the school her granddaughter is going to (whom is one of my friends also).
She's going to the Hallmark Institute of Photography in Massachusetts. Obviously, it's a school strictly for photography.
This is like... my dream, to say the least.
Unfortunately, it's in Massachusetts, where it's expensive to live.. plus the tuition in $60,000.
But, it's an 11 month school.. not four year, so I'd be done pretty quick and won't even have to deal with taking all those English classes and such in college. Heck, SAT scores don't even matter, which is a bonus because I already know I'm going to suck at SATs.
I would have to wait a year after graduation to go(possibly even two) to save the money with a full time job. After talking to my teacher and looking at the website, the money that is spent on the year attending the school will be easily earned back in sales the next year, which is pretty kick-butt if you ask me. The training in fantastic, which included photoshop, lighting, and running your own business. Not only that, but the tuition comes with a camera.. the best one being made at the time, which alone is a several thousand dollar value.
*drool*
Man, would I love to go there. So many pros and cons though...
This is something to pray about.
God blessed me.
:-)
InOtherNews:
I've been thinking about what I'm going to do after high school. I'm going to be a senior pretty soon, so I suppose it's about time to think about it.
I spoke with my painting teacher on Monday about the school her granddaughter is going to (whom is one of my friends also).
She's going to the Hallmark Institute of Photography in Massachusetts. Obviously, it's a school strictly for photography.
This is like... my dream, to say the least.
Unfortunately, it's in Massachusetts, where it's expensive to live.. plus the tuition in $60,000.
But, it's an 11 month school.. not four year, so I'd be done pretty quick and won't even have to deal with taking all those English classes and such in college. Heck, SAT scores don't even matter, which is a bonus because I already know I'm going to suck at SATs.
I would have to wait a year after graduation to go(possibly even two) to save the money with a full time job. After talking to my teacher and looking at the website, the money that is spent on the year attending the school will be easily earned back in sales the next year, which is pretty kick-butt if you ask me. The training in fantastic, which included photoshop, lighting, and running your own business. Not only that, but the tuition comes with a camera.. the best one being made at the time, which alone is a several thousand dollar value.
*drool*
Man, would I love to go there. So many pros and cons though...
This is something to pray about.
Mar 9, 2009
No complaints.
Not this time...
I remember on several occasions, I would be dramatically worried about money for mission trips, prom, and other various events in spring.
Glenview is leaving this Saturday morning on the family mission trip to Galveston. Unfortunately, I was an idiot and forgot to apply for a scholarship early-on considering I couldn't pay for it, but it turns out my parents could have paid if they wanted to, but I had to *earn* the money myself to go. I didn't get that memo until yesterday...
So, with that said, I kicked into gear to earn some money. I offered to work for my grandmother yesterday with any household chores(she always needs that kinda help), so she sent me over to her house and had me do some fairly small stuff for her. She paid me a generous amount, which included birthday money as well.
That helped a whole lot..
but I still have a little more to go. I plan to work around the neighborhood tomorrow to earn the rest, which hopefully won't be too stressful. It's not that much to get, but I have no clue how stubborn my neighbors are.
Hmm..
But this is what I'm posting this blog for!
I need prayers that I'll get what I need, and also for peace in my family. A lot is going on and everything is very hectic around the house right now, so prayers for that would be nice.
I can't complain though, God has blessed me a lot already. I didn't have a hard time at all finding a dress, date, and ticket for prom this year. No dress stresses for once, which helps a whole lot. I've also managed to find time to work on my school, which is an abnormally light load this semester. Only thing I can say about that is that I'm sucking at Computers Class at TCC because the Word and Excel software I have to use to do homework and labs are not on my home computers, so I can only do homework in class, which leads to a LOT of undone homework and horrible grades. I think half my current grades are F's, which really stresses me out because my mom will be ticked if I fail. I may end of spending the day at the TCC library on Tuesdays and Thursdays to work on those while Holly is in her class.
I guess we'll see...
OnADifferentNote:
I entered (at least) two of my photos into a photography exhibition at TCC that will be displayed in a couple weeks. I've also entered a painting I did last semester into the Watauga Public Library art competition, also in the next couple weeks. I submitted my work last week, and the clerk at the desk asked if I had any other artistic sisters, and continued to ask about a drawing entered last year of Jesus. Turns out she was talking about mine, which I was excited about, because I didn't think people would remember my stuff that much.
My mom went to the Library today to see what other people had entered. She also talked to the desk clerk and asked about why they didn't have a photography section. The lady said that many people have asked, and they considered doing a separate competition for photography. She followed my suggesting just a show instead of a competition. She then asked my mom if I had enough photography to put up my own show there at the Library and if I'd be interested.
"Of course!"
So my mom came home and told me about it and asked if I wanted to put up a display show at the Library. It's not a solid plan yet, but it could potentially happen in early May.
:-D
I think that's all the news I have so far.
:-)
I remember on several occasions, I would be dramatically worried about money for mission trips, prom, and other various events in spring.
Glenview is leaving this Saturday morning on the family mission trip to Galveston. Unfortunately, I was an idiot and forgot to apply for a scholarship early-on considering I couldn't pay for it, but it turns out my parents could have paid if they wanted to, but I had to *earn* the money myself to go. I didn't get that memo until yesterday...
So, with that said, I kicked into gear to earn some money. I offered to work for my grandmother yesterday with any household chores(she always needs that kinda help), so she sent me over to her house and had me do some fairly small stuff for her. She paid me a generous amount, which included birthday money as well.
That helped a whole lot..
but I still have a little more to go. I plan to work around the neighborhood tomorrow to earn the rest, which hopefully won't be too stressful. It's not that much to get, but I have no clue how stubborn my neighbors are.
Hmm..
But this is what I'm posting this blog for!
I need prayers that I'll get what I need, and also for peace in my family. A lot is going on and everything is very hectic around the house right now, so prayers for that would be nice.
I can't complain though, God has blessed me a lot already. I didn't have a hard time at all finding a dress, date, and ticket for prom this year. No dress stresses for once, which helps a whole lot. I've also managed to find time to work on my school, which is an abnormally light load this semester. Only thing I can say about that is that I'm sucking at Computers Class at TCC because the Word and Excel software I have to use to do homework and labs are not on my home computers, so I can only do homework in class, which leads to a LOT of undone homework and horrible grades. I think half my current grades are F's, which really stresses me out because my mom will be ticked if I fail. I may end of spending the day at the TCC library on Tuesdays and Thursdays to work on those while Holly is in her class.
I guess we'll see...
OnADifferentNote:
I entered (at least) two of my photos into a photography exhibition at TCC that will be displayed in a couple weeks. I've also entered a painting I did last semester into the Watauga Public Library art competition, also in the next couple weeks. I submitted my work last week, and the clerk at the desk asked if I had any other artistic sisters, and continued to ask about a drawing entered last year of Jesus. Turns out she was talking about mine, which I was excited about, because I didn't think people would remember my stuff that much.
My mom went to the Library today to see what other people had entered. She also talked to the desk clerk and asked about why they didn't have a photography section. The lady said that many people have asked, and they considered doing a separate competition for photography. She followed my suggesting just a show instead of a competition. She then asked my mom if I had enough photography to put up my own show there at the Library and if I'd be interested.
"Of course!"
So my mom came home and told me about it and asked if I wanted to put up a display show at the Library. It's not a solid plan yet, but it could potentially happen in early May.
:-D
I think that's all the news I have so far.
:-)
Jan 5, 2009
First post of the year!
.
Sorry it took me so long to update. I kinda sorta forgot to! :-O
By bad...
So it's a new year, eh? Time for "starting over" and trying to succeed at New Year's Resolutions that truly never will be succeeded.I've read several people's blogs about 2008 and it's pros and cons, and their goals for 2009. I found it kind of interesting so I'll write one here.
Best and Worst!
Worst:
- Struggling endlessly with writing and English classes. Painfully failed poetry with a D, and didn't do well on my first essay of the fall semester.
- Faced issues with close friends that brought me down with their problems
- Managed to break or strongly disable two cameras
- Had many fights with the fam.
- Had a close friend rushed to the hospital.. same night I was in a fight with the fam.
- Had serious emotional problems during Mission New Orleans. (Came through eventually, but some days were off)
- Had my prom date drop out on me
- Had 3 1/2 weeks of SAT classes during the summer, which only decreased my score.
- Got a horrible sunburn at Six Flags in San Antonio on August 1st.. which can still be seen to this day.
- Struggled with the possibility that my family would move overseas.
- Broke one of my original new years resolutions.
- Fell into rotten temptation. Did a lot of stuff I'm not proud of.
- Was lied to by someone for awhile, which also made me lie to myself. Big whole mess.Long story. Physically and emotionally beat up many times.
- Lost some friends
- Still didn't get a job yet.
- And last, the constant struggle of overwhelming fear.
Best:
- I got the chance to go on THREE mission trips.. New Orleans, Mexico, and San Antonio.. where I was a chaperon for middle schoolers. I also revisited my 8th grade mission trip VBS site.
- Witnessed lives get saved and adoration to God being expressed through song in 2 different languages in unison(very cool).
- Two of my cousins started coming to church with me right after new years of 08. Both either became Christians or recommitted their lives to Christ, and both were baptized.
- Three of my cousin's friends visited church one day too. All three gave their lives to Christ.
- Met The Wedding live at our church for d-now, and found out our band leader was joining them. :-O
- Visited FBC Watauga for d-now also. Awesomest sermons ever...very life changing. Found those same sermon recordings on youtube last week. I freaked.
- Turned 16. Didn't get my license for 8 more months, but I got in eventually!
- Met a buttload of new people. Lots of new friends.
- Watched the youth group at Glenview grow as youth ministers came and left. The body of believers stayed strong, and I saw God move in us.
- Realized more and more God's faithfulness, especially in time of need. God healed my heart, and still continues to do so.
- God provided friends and family that are an utter blessing to me and my relationship with Him.
- God used each burden and trouble in my heart and turned it around so I could become stronger. He showed me His endless glory.
- God brought me back home after I strayed. I came back broken and dirty, but I was made new again.
- I overcame my fear of talking to people about my problems or emotions. I opened an over
-packed bottle of secrets, anger, sadness, and even joy. I was set free! I let nothing stay held back.
- This holiday season has been the best in forever. Family is closer together, and moments are cherished rather than physical gifts.
- Pursued art and photography a little bit more as I try a lot of new things.
- God blessed me with Kason, my first real relationship. It's mind blowing to be with someone who acknowledges my flaws and bruises and stays patient with me as I continue to heal, and even helps me grow closer to Christ through my struggles instead of pull me away.
- and last, God has simply blown me away with an amazing year. It had it's immeasurably tough times, but what God did and how He showed himself to me every single day surpassed everything that could have possibly made the year a tragedy.
It's pretty clear that every negative thing that happened was eventually overcome by God and his glory. Times got tough and faith was lost, but it was always restored one way or another, if it's not in the restoration process right now. I'm thankful for such a blessed year full of steps and learning. I couldn't have gone without it.
Now, goals for 2009.....
- Get a job. Pay for what I need to and start saving for.. college?
- Succeed farther in arts in photography. Painting and photography classes this semester.. very excited.
- Somehow, someway, get a professional digital camera. I think that's the one material thing I want with a passion. Hah.
- Restart an unspoken resolution from last year.. and actually succeed(this is important, very very important!).
- Grow stronger in my daily walk with God. Become more resistant to temptations.
- Spend more time with God and strive daily for a better understanding of the Word.
- Become a stronger leader. Do harder things and make bigger sacrifices for God's kingdom.
- Make better grades! Starting senior year in the fall.. lets not get D's anymore!
- Grow more confident in myself, seeing as how I have very little.
- Grow even more closer to family.
- And last, just be able to take every situation in my life, big or small, good or bad, and use it to understand God more, bring Him glory, and change my lifestyle for the better.
Yep.
I may add on later as I remember more.
Sorry it took me so long to update. I kinda sorta forgot to! :-O
By bad...
So it's a new year, eh? Time for "starting over" and trying to succeed at New Year's Resolutions that truly never will be succeeded.I've read several people's blogs about 2008 and it's pros and cons, and their goals for 2009. I found it kind of interesting so I'll write one here.
Best and Worst!
Worst:
- Struggling endlessly with writing and English classes. Painfully failed poetry with a D, and didn't do well on my first essay of the fall semester.
- Faced issues with close friends that brought me down with their problems
- Managed to break or strongly disable two cameras
- Had many fights with the fam.
- Had a close friend rushed to the hospital.. same night I was in a fight with the fam.
- Had serious emotional problems during Mission New Orleans. (Came through eventually, but some days were off)
- Had my prom date drop out on me
- Had 3 1/2 weeks of SAT classes during the summer, which only decreased my score.
- Got a horrible sunburn at Six Flags in San Antonio on August 1st.. which can still be seen to this day.
- Struggled with the possibility that my family would move overseas.
- Broke one of my original new years resolutions.
- Fell into rotten temptation. Did a lot of stuff I'm not proud of.
- Was lied to by someone for awhile, which also made me lie to myself. Big whole mess.Long story. Physically and emotionally beat up many times.
- Lost some friends
- Still didn't get a job yet.
- And last, the constant struggle of overwhelming fear.
Best:
- I got the chance to go on THREE mission trips.. New Orleans, Mexico, and San Antonio.. where I was a chaperon for middle schoolers. I also revisited my 8th grade mission trip VBS site.
- Witnessed lives get saved and adoration to God being expressed through song in 2 different languages in unison(very cool).
- Two of my cousins started coming to church with me right after new years of 08. Both either became Christians or recommitted their lives to Christ, and both were baptized.
- Three of my cousin's friends visited church one day too. All three gave their lives to Christ.
- Met The Wedding live at our church for d-now, and found out our band leader was joining them. :-O
- Visited FBC Watauga for d-now also. Awesomest sermons ever...very life changing. Found those same sermon recordings on youtube last week. I freaked.
- Turned 16. Didn't get my license for 8 more months, but I got in eventually!
- Met a buttload of new people. Lots of new friends.
- Watched the youth group at Glenview grow as youth ministers came and left. The body of believers stayed strong, and I saw God move in us.
- Realized more and more God's faithfulness, especially in time of need. God healed my heart, and still continues to do so.
- God provided friends and family that are an utter blessing to me and my relationship with Him.
- God used each burden and trouble in my heart and turned it around so I could become stronger. He showed me His endless glory.
- God brought me back home after I strayed. I came back broken and dirty, but I was made new again.
- I overcame my fear of talking to people about my problems or emotions. I opened an over
-packed bottle of secrets, anger, sadness, and even joy. I was set free! I let nothing stay held back.
- This holiday season has been the best in forever. Family is closer together, and moments are cherished rather than physical gifts.
- Pursued art and photography a little bit more as I try a lot of new things.
- God blessed me with Kason, my first real relationship. It's mind blowing to be with someone who acknowledges my flaws and bruises and stays patient with me as I continue to heal, and even helps me grow closer to Christ through my struggles instead of pull me away.
- and last, God has simply blown me away with an amazing year. It had it's immeasurably tough times, but what God did and how He showed himself to me every single day surpassed everything that could have possibly made the year a tragedy.
It's pretty clear that every negative thing that happened was eventually overcome by God and his glory. Times got tough and faith was lost, but it was always restored one way or another, if it's not in the restoration process right now. I'm thankful for such a blessed year full of steps and learning. I couldn't have gone without it.
Now, goals for 2009.....
- Get a job. Pay for what I need to and start saving for.. college?
- Succeed farther in arts in photography. Painting and photography classes this semester.. very excited.
- Somehow, someway, get a professional digital camera. I think that's the one material thing I want with a passion. Hah.
- Restart an unspoken resolution from last year.. and actually succeed(this is important, very very important!).
- Grow stronger in my daily walk with God. Become more resistant to temptations.
- Spend more time with God and strive daily for a better understanding of the Word.
- Become a stronger leader. Do harder things and make bigger sacrifices for God's kingdom.
- Make better grades! Starting senior year in the fall.. lets not get D's anymore!
- Grow more confident in myself, seeing as how I have very little.
- Grow even more closer to family.
- And last, just be able to take every situation in my life, big or small, good or bad, and use it to understand God more, bring Him glory, and change my lifestyle for the better.
Yep.
I may add on later as I remember more.
Dec 7, 2008
Whole?
Apparently I'm a lot weaker than I thought I was.
If you were to ask anyone what the greatest weakness and sensitive area was, it would probably be past "relationships". As much as I hate to admit that I've been hurt by a guy, I have to say I have, and apparently that's left a big dent on how fearful and fragile I am.
I think the best part about this is that it's made me much more willing to talk to anyone about my struggles, even on blogger, however it takes it's negative role when some of the smallest things become capable of shattering my emotional self control.
I'll be honest, I've been scared lately. Not a whole lot, but fairly often. I'm scared of being hurt emotionally and physically. As much as I want to solve friendship problems between me and my previous "interest", I'm scared out of my mind, which apparently has caused some concerns in Kason and one of my other friends.
When I was at church this morning between services, I glanced at a person that looked like my previous interest. After a double-take, I realized it wasn't him, but I followed by freaking out, nearly to tears. I'm not sure why though. I thought that I had been healed, but all of a sudden I felt like I was being beaten up again. I walked upstairs to the loft, and LeighAnn asked what was wrong. Apparently the fear had shown in my face, but I continued to say I was just fine. As much as I enjoyed church this morning, I was not in my best mood considering my fear and insecurities.
I went home, cleaned the house a little, and took a nap. I felt more clear-minded later.
Kason invited me over to his house for a little while. I explained to him my fears a few days ago, but I talked to him about it again today, seeing as how I haven't been on best terms with my confidence. Kason assured me it was going to be ok, and promised to not let anything happen to me. I thought about how Biblical love and promises have been expressed to me lately, then I thought about how I saw them several months ago, which wasn't much biblical truth at all, consider it was all broken. Through the past few weeks, I've been slowly picking up my pieces to become whole again, with a huge lesson learned with each piece. What I've learned a lot this week is that Biblical faithfulness is never broken, and always assures truth and safety. Unfortunately, with all my piling fears, I've been growing uncertain of faithfulness, and wondering if it even resides in human at all. As much as man will never be able to grasp it completely, God promises safety to me, and He is much more faithful and true than anyone else will ever be.
It came to me in a revelation.. I am safe. I trust God to keep me safe and orchestrate the issues however they need to go. And as much as I have recurring fears that my past will repeat, I have to trust that there will be a change, and that I am willing to accept it and challenge it.
All the while realizing this, I broke into tears right there in Kason's arms. It really is neat to have a physical person there to hold you like a small child. It kinda makes the whole "God holding me always" thing feel much more real. :-)
So, with all that said, I'm healing, and gradually becoming whole again.
I'm so thankful for my faithful Jesus.
It really is a remarkable love to follow.
Pray for stength in me.
If you were to ask anyone what the greatest weakness and sensitive area was, it would probably be past "relationships". As much as I hate to admit that I've been hurt by a guy, I have to say I have, and apparently that's left a big dent on how fearful and fragile I am.
I think the best part about this is that it's made me much more willing to talk to anyone about my struggles, even on blogger, however it takes it's negative role when some of the smallest things become capable of shattering my emotional self control.
I'll be honest, I've been scared lately. Not a whole lot, but fairly often. I'm scared of being hurt emotionally and physically. As much as I want to solve friendship problems between me and my previous "interest", I'm scared out of my mind, which apparently has caused some concerns in Kason and one of my other friends.
When I was at church this morning between services, I glanced at a person that looked like my previous interest. After a double-take, I realized it wasn't him, but I followed by freaking out, nearly to tears. I'm not sure why though. I thought that I had been healed, but all of a sudden I felt like I was being beaten up again. I walked upstairs to the loft, and LeighAnn asked what was wrong. Apparently the fear had shown in my face, but I continued to say I was just fine. As much as I enjoyed church this morning, I was not in my best mood considering my fear and insecurities.
I went home, cleaned the house a little, and took a nap. I felt more clear-minded later.
Kason invited me over to his house for a little while. I explained to him my fears a few days ago, but I talked to him about it again today, seeing as how I haven't been on best terms with my confidence. Kason assured me it was going to be ok, and promised to not let anything happen to me. I thought about how Biblical love and promises have been expressed to me lately, then I thought about how I saw them several months ago, which wasn't much biblical truth at all, consider it was all broken. Through the past few weeks, I've been slowly picking up my pieces to become whole again, with a huge lesson learned with each piece. What I've learned a lot this week is that Biblical faithfulness is never broken, and always assures truth and safety. Unfortunately, with all my piling fears, I've been growing uncertain of faithfulness, and wondering if it even resides in human at all. As much as man will never be able to grasp it completely, God promises safety to me, and He is much more faithful and true than anyone else will ever be.
It came to me in a revelation.. I am safe. I trust God to keep me safe and orchestrate the issues however they need to go. And as much as I have recurring fears that my past will repeat, I have to trust that there will be a change, and that I am willing to accept it and challenge it.
All the while realizing this, I broke into tears right there in Kason's arms. It really is neat to have a physical person there to hold you like a small child. It kinda makes the whole "God holding me always" thing feel much more real. :-)
So, with all that said, I'm healing, and gradually becoming whole again.
I'm so thankful for my faithful Jesus.
It really is a remarkable love to follow.
Pray for stength in me.
Nov 24, 2008
Return to the Source of Your Joy
It's the solution to all anger, sadness, depression, etc..
I find it ironic that just when circumstances become larger and more important, the lessons that are shown to me fit along perfectly. Kason and I have been dating two weeks as of yesterday. It feels a little weird considering I've never been in a relationship before now. One of the things I never completely grasped before was that when you become romantically involved with someone, the other person's life, emotions, and thoughts because your own too.
I walked into church this morning and knew immediately that Kason was upset, without a word or action done. I became slightly worried about it, and I wanted to help. He claimed he would talk about it after church. After a minute of pushing him to tell me, he became tense and told me to stop. I was a little upset for a minute. I walked off, and greeted a few other people. I realized I just made him feel worse, and came back and gave him a hug. I know I care about him, and I felt bad for just making it worse than it already was.
Fortunately, not too long after Pastor Dennis started speaking, the message began to form itself around the current situation, just as it did last Sunday. We both kind of realized that we fall into anger or discontentment more than we should, which only makes it worse for our relationship with eachother, others, and most importantly, our relationship with Christ.
Pastor Dennis began to sing a short song about thankfulness. Kason nudged me.. We looked at eachother, and gave eachother the biggest hug ever.
It was sweet.
By the time the service was over, we were both fine again, simply by the words of Christ filling us again through the message.
"Return to the Source of your Joy".
I thought, and remembered that as children of Christ, we are to continually rejoice. We're not called to always be happy and cheerful, but to rejoice, and thank God in every situation. We spent too much time with our minds off our main joy and purpose. For us, and our relationship, God is our joy and strength. Without God, we are nothing. Our relationship would fail. With Christ, all things are possible, and when we focus our minds on our joy and strength, things become not only possible, but also a huge blessing.
I'm thankful for today.
I've learned some valuable lessons,
and God has dearly blessed me with Kason.
and so many other stuff! I can't even explain!!
God is just so faithful.
God is my joy!
I find it ironic that just when circumstances become larger and more important, the lessons that are shown to me fit along perfectly. Kason and I have been dating two weeks as of yesterday. It feels a little weird considering I've never been in a relationship before now. One of the things I never completely grasped before was that when you become romantically involved with someone, the other person's life, emotions, and thoughts because your own too.
I walked into church this morning and knew immediately that Kason was upset, without a word or action done. I became slightly worried about it, and I wanted to help. He claimed he would talk about it after church. After a minute of pushing him to tell me, he became tense and told me to stop. I was a little upset for a minute. I walked off, and greeted a few other people. I realized I just made him feel worse, and came back and gave him a hug. I know I care about him, and I felt bad for just making it worse than it already was.
Fortunately, not too long after Pastor Dennis started speaking, the message began to form itself around the current situation, just as it did last Sunday. We both kind of realized that we fall into anger or discontentment more than we should, which only makes it worse for our relationship with eachother, others, and most importantly, our relationship with Christ.
Pastor Dennis began to sing a short song about thankfulness. Kason nudged me.. We looked at eachother, and gave eachother the biggest hug ever.
It was sweet.
By the time the service was over, we were both fine again, simply by the words of Christ filling us again through the message.
"Return to the Source of your Joy".
I thought, and remembered that as children of Christ, we are to continually rejoice. We're not called to always be happy and cheerful, but to rejoice, and thank God in every situation. We spent too much time with our minds off our main joy and purpose. For us, and our relationship, God is our joy and strength. Without God, we are nothing. Our relationship would fail. With Christ, all things are possible, and when we focus our minds on our joy and strength, things become not only possible, but also a huge blessing.
I'm thankful for today.
I've learned some valuable lessons,
and God has dearly blessed me with Kason.
and so many other stuff! I can't even explain!!
God is just so faithful.
God is my joy!
Oct 5, 2008
Prayer Request
.
Pastor Dennis briefly mentioned in church this morning a mother who spoke with him last week about her unborn child that had to be aborted this week due to development problems, Downs Syndrome, and other various medical issues that would most likely kill the mother if kept.
He didn't mention her name, but I have a very strong feeling I know who he is talking about, which has me a bit worried.
I guess I'll find out eventually.
Please pray for the mother. I'm sure she's having a hard time right now.
Pastor Dennis briefly mentioned in church this morning a mother who spoke with him last week about her unborn child that had to be aborted this week due to development problems, Downs Syndrome, and other various medical issues that would most likely kill the mother if kept.
He didn't mention her name, but I have a very strong feeling I know who he is talking about, which has me a bit worried.
I guess I'll find out eventually.
Please pray for the mother. I'm sure she's having a hard time right now.
Aug 1, 2008
Back
.
I'm back from the middle school mission trip to San Antonio. Can't go into great detail because it's late and I'm tired, but I must say that despite a broken camera(a mad dad, too, as expected), sun burns all over, and back-breaking work, it was a phenomenal week. The middle schoolers taught me a lot. It was an uber blessing to be there.
But, before I ramble on about the trip, I have a shower to take. I smell like... well... a bus full of middle schoolers marinaded in chlorine and sweat.
I'm back from the middle school mission trip to San Antonio. Can't go into great detail because it's late and I'm tired, but I must say that despite a broken camera(a mad dad, too, as expected), sun burns all over, and back-breaking work, it was a phenomenal week. The middle schoolers taught me a lot. It was an uber blessing to be there.
But, before I ramble on about the trip, I have a shower to take. I smell like... well... a bus full of middle schoolers marinaded in chlorine and sweat.
Jul 26, 2008
Prayer?
I haven't had much time to blog lately with all the VBS's, mission trips, job searching, and other various events going on lately.
I spent this past week working at Glenview's VBS, in the second grade class.
Once you get past dealing with 10+ kids constantly asking to ride on your back, than it's a pretty cool class. All but two of the kids in my class were ones I'd never seen before, so it was interesting getting to know them and attempting to remember their names(I think I remember 14 out of 22 or so).
Overall, the week was a success. The parent's night program turned out better than I expected(even without attending, but I watched all the VBS kids practice their performance yesterday afternoon).
InOtherNews:
I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon for Glenview's middle school mission trip to San Antonio. I'm serving as a "chaperon" for the week. As far as I know, I'll be working with the 8th graders as they lead several VBS groups in various apartment complexes. The 7th graders will all be working together in service projects. The whole group will be feeding homeless one night, and probably(hopefully)evangelizing to them as well.
Who knows what else God is going to do. I guess we'll see.
Please pray for the whole group though. If you want, you can go back to my Mexico Prayer Request blog to get specifics of what to pray for as we are in San Antonio.
Thanks,
and God Bless.
I spent this past week working at Glenview's VBS, in the second grade class.
Once you get past dealing with 10+ kids constantly asking to ride on your back, than it's a pretty cool class. All but two of the kids in my class were ones I'd never seen before, so it was interesting getting to know them and attempting to remember their names(I think I remember 14 out of 22 or so).
Overall, the week was a success. The parent's night program turned out better than I expected(even without attending, but I watched all the VBS kids practice their performance yesterday afternoon).
InOtherNews:
I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon for Glenview's middle school mission trip to San Antonio. I'm serving as a "chaperon" for the week. As far as I know, I'll be working with the 8th graders as they lead several VBS groups in various apartment complexes. The 7th graders will all be working together in service projects. The whole group will be feeding homeless one night, and probably(hopefully)evangelizing to them as well.
Who knows what else God is going to do. I guess we'll see.
Please pray for the whole group though. If you want, you can go back to my Mexico Prayer Request blog to get specifics of what to pray for as we are in San Antonio.
Thanks,
and God Bless.
Jul 15, 2008
Mexico
.
I'm back from Mexico.
I've gotta say, it was one of the best mission trips I've been on. God orchestrated every single thing that happened to fit according to His plan and purpose, and I'm in awe of just the things I witnessed.
One team's translators accepted Christ. The amount of gifts or materials was exactly proportional the amount of people who showed up... on several occasions. A Man who couldn't move or walk was prayed over, and instantly healed. Teams walking through sewage mud and water, carrying kids on their backs just to go to VBS. Not only did they sacrifice for the kids, but they sacrificed themselves for their teammates(shout out to Justin, who carried me through poop mud when my shoes broke so I wouldn't get glass in my feet). By the end of the week, I was completely overwhelmed by what God had done and shown to me. On top of that, God spoke to me personally about how I live my own life, and I how I handle some circumstances. This week gave me a great opportunity to trust in God completely and humble myself before other people. God revealed answers to me, and he gave me patients, and wisdom, and many other things that I would not have gained had I not gone to Mexico.
Thank you God!
I'm back from Mexico.
I've gotta say, it was one of the best mission trips I've been on. God orchestrated every single thing that happened to fit according to His plan and purpose, and I'm in awe of just the things I witnessed.
One team's translators accepted Christ. The amount of gifts or materials was exactly proportional the amount of people who showed up... on several occasions. A Man who couldn't move or walk was prayed over, and instantly healed. Teams walking through sewage mud and water, carrying kids on their backs just to go to VBS. Not only did they sacrifice for the kids, but they sacrificed themselves for their teammates(shout out to Justin, who carried me through poop mud when my shoes broke so I wouldn't get glass in my feet). By the end of the week, I was completely overwhelmed by what God had done and shown to me. On top of that, God spoke to me personally about how I live my own life, and I how I handle some circumstances. This week gave me a great opportunity to trust in God completely and humble myself before other people. God revealed answers to me, and he gave me patients, and wisdom, and many other things that I would not have gained had I not gone to Mexico.
Thank you God!
Jul 3, 2008
Fasting
.
Like I mentioned before, Mexico Mission Trip is leaving this Saturday morning.
Normally, Bill would schedule a fasting day in preparation for the summer mission trips, but apparently it was never planned this year.
Considering life's circumstanced right now, I really think I need it anyway, so I'm having my own fasting day tomorrow(Thursday).
If you'd like to join me, then cool. That's fantastic. Let me know, and I'll give you a huge hug.
If you don't want to fast, than just simply pray for the trip in general.
Here are a few specifics though, if you want them:
Travel Safety - "If it can go wrong, it will go wrong".
Chances to evangelize - You know, we're stopped at a whole lot of fast food places and stores. Might as well talk to somebody about Jesus, eh?
Strength - Most of us are really getting out of our comfort zones. Pray that physical comfort will not be an issue. Also, a whole lot of us have a real hard time sharing our faith, or maybe just talking to strangers. Pray that we will all be filled with God's strength to disregard our own fears.
Words and wisdom - People ask tough questions. Pray that we will always know what to say, and that every word that comes through us will be wholly and completely from Christ, whether we're out at the work sites, or just socializing with each other at the hotel.
Spiritual light and hope - Pray that we set a great example to those who live in Mexico. I want them to see the gift we have(that is, our forgiveness through Christ)... and want it more than anything.
Language Barriers - It's hard communicating with people who speak Spanish.. when you don't. Translators are a gift from God, but it's still rather difficult.
Group unity - The majority of the youth are being put into groups with people they are unfamiliar with. Pray that each group will grow together like a family and will be able to work together as a team to share the gospel. Pray that every actions is done selflessly, and that we will constantly encourage one another in every situation.
Distractions. - It's a mission trip. Satan's loves to mess people up by bringing it distractions from home, or from friends close-by. It's very difficult to get out of it once Satan's pulls you down, so please, pray that distractions will be far away and each youth(and adult) will be alert and focused on his or her purpose.
Safety/theft - Pray that nobody will get hurt in any way. Mexico is not a very safe country. Also pray that nothing gets stolen or lost!
Readiness - Pray that each youth will be fully ready to share to gospel. Pray that none of us will "wear out", but be ready to get up and go every single day. Pray that joy will full us, so that it will fill others. Cranky attitudes don't help, and doesn't at all glorify God. Pray that we will all be filled with the eagerness to speak and share God's love.
Open ears - Pray for the people in Mexico! A lot of them may not have ever heard of Jesus, or maybe, if they have, they follow a different "religion", or maybe just simply never heard more. Pray that they won't show bitterness to the gospel, but open their ears and hearts to what God has to say through us. Pray that Christ will move in each of their hearts. Pray that if any of them have questions than they will willingly ask and not be afraid. Pray that new believers will talk to others. Pray that our words will not stop at the end up the week, but rather be spread continuously in Mexico for long after.
The list could go on and on, but I'll just leave it at that for now. If you have anything to add, than please post it in a comment. It'd be much appreciated.
God Bless,
Katie
Like I mentioned before, Mexico Mission Trip is leaving this Saturday morning.
Normally, Bill would schedule a fasting day in preparation for the summer mission trips, but apparently it was never planned this year.
Considering life's circumstanced right now, I really think I need it anyway, so I'm having my own fasting day tomorrow(Thursday).
If you'd like to join me, then cool. That's fantastic. Let me know, and I'll give you a huge hug.
If you don't want to fast, than just simply pray for the trip in general.
Here are a few specifics though, if you want them:
Travel Safety - "If it can go wrong, it will go wrong".
Chances to evangelize - You know, we're stopped at a whole lot of fast food places and stores. Might as well talk to somebody about Jesus, eh?
Strength - Most of us are really getting out of our comfort zones. Pray that physical comfort will not be an issue. Also, a whole lot of us have a real hard time sharing our faith, or maybe just talking to strangers. Pray that we will all be filled with God's strength to disregard our own fears.
Words and wisdom - People ask tough questions. Pray that we will always know what to say, and that every word that comes through us will be wholly and completely from Christ, whether we're out at the work sites, or just socializing with each other at the hotel.
Spiritual light and hope - Pray that we set a great example to those who live in Mexico. I want them to see the gift we have(that is, our forgiveness through Christ)... and want it more than anything.
Language Barriers - It's hard communicating with people who speak Spanish.. when you don't. Translators are a gift from God, but it's still rather difficult.
Group unity - The majority of the youth are being put into groups with people they are unfamiliar with. Pray that each group will grow together like a family and will be able to work together as a team to share the gospel. Pray that every actions is done selflessly, and that we will constantly encourage one another in every situation.
Distractions. - It's a mission trip. Satan's loves to mess people up by bringing it distractions from home, or from friends close-by. It's very difficult to get out of it once Satan's pulls you down, so please, pray that distractions will be far away and each youth(and adult) will be alert and focused on his or her purpose.
Safety/theft - Pray that nobody will get hurt in any way. Mexico is not a very safe country. Also pray that nothing gets stolen or lost!
Readiness - Pray that each youth will be fully ready to share to gospel. Pray that none of us will "wear out", but be ready to get up and go every single day. Pray that joy will full us, so that it will fill others. Cranky attitudes don't help, and doesn't at all glorify God. Pray that we will all be filled with the eagerness to speak and share God's love.
Open ears - Pray for the people in Mexico! A lot of them may not have ever heard of Jesus, or maybe, if they have, they follow a different "religion", or maybe just simply never heard more. Pray that they won't show bitterness to the gospel, but open their ears and hearts to what God has to say through us. Pray that Christ will move in each of their hearts. Pray that if any of them have questions than they will willingly ask and not be afraid. Pray that new believers will talk to others. Pray that our words will not stop at the end up the week, but rather be spread continuously in Mexico for long after.
The list could go on and on, but I'll just leave it at that for now. If you have anything to add, than please post it in a comment. It'd be much appreciated.
God Bless,
Katie
Jun 29, 2008
Well...
.
Sorry I haven't posted a blog in a while.
I haven't really had time to think about what to write.
Mexico Mission Trip leaves this Saturday.
I'm very excited and see what's going to happen, and there's not much else I can say. God has been working through our youth this summer in amazing ways already.
Romania mission trip just got back this afternoon, and from what I heard in the middle of the week, they had already led 50 people to Christ.
That's pretty cool if you ask me...
InOtherNews:
SAT prep classes are over, thank goodness.
They were dreadful, I'm not going to lie.
Overall, I didn't do a horrible job at it, but the outcome wasn't mind-blowing.
Oh well...
That kind of studying just isn't for me, I guess.
Other than that, not so much has been happening.
It's kinda been a rough couple of weeks, emotionally and spiritually, but that's for reasons beyond what I'm willing to talk about on here(for privacy's sake, so don't take offense).
So, if you don't mind, please keep me in your prayers for the next couple weeks.
Thanks.
:-)
I'll try my best to blog again soon.
~Katie
Sorry I haven't posted a blog in a while.
I haven't really had time to think about what to write.
Mexico Mission Trip leaves this Saturday.
I'm very excited and see what's going to happen, and there's not much else I can say. God has been working through our youth this summer in amazing ways already.
Romania mission trip just got back this afternoon, and from what I heard in the middle of the week, they had already led 50 people to Christ.
That's pretty cool if you ask me...
InOtherNews:
SAT prep classes are over, thank goodness.
They were dreadful, I'm not going to lie.
Overall, I didn't do a horrible job at it, but the outcome wasn't mind-blowing.
Oh well...
That kind of studying just isn't for me, I guess.
Other than that, not so much has been happening.
It's kinda been a rough couple of weeks, emotionally and spiritually, but that's for reasons beyond what I'm willing to talk about on here(for privacy's sake, so don't take offense).
So, if you don't mind, please keep me in your prayers for the next couple weeks.
Thanks.
:-)
I'll try my best to blog again soon.
~Katie
May 10, 2008
Questions to ponder...
Do you express your faith and reflect Christ so much that unbelievers can't help but wonder if God really exists?
Does God's love shine in your life so much that unbelievers can't help but see that Jesus willingly sacrificed His own life so we could live eternally?
Does your attitude reflect the hope and gift that you have, as a child of God?
You claim you believe in God.
You claim to be saved.
You claim that God is your first priority.
Why fear?
Why anger?
Why sadness? Guilt? Stress? Jealousy?
Why are those still a huge part of your life?
It's GOD, for pete's sake!
Can't you understand that He is so much bigger than that?
Fear was diminished when God promised He would always be there.
Anger was turned to forgiveness when Jesus forgave our sins, even when we didn't deserve it. Sadness was turned to joy when a hope and future were given to us the moment we were born again.
Guilt was wiped away when forgiveness took it's place.
Stress was eased when Christ healed our hearts. Why hold on to it?
Jealousy shouldn't even be a part of our life, because nothing is better than Christ. If you have Christ, why be jealous that you don't have something else?
Is Christ not enough??
Wouldn't it be so cool if the whole world turned to Christ?
Wouldn't it be so amazing if everyone saw the hope that Jesus offers?
Wouldn't it be awesome if everyone was so moved by Christ that all of a sudden nothing else mattered. Nobody else mattered. Problems were not problems anymore. Worldly pleasures were not sought after anymore. Money was not an object anymore. Religion didn't exist.
It would just be Christ, and His church(body of believers).
It would just be a true love relationship between you and the Father.
Wouldn't that be amazing?
If only Christians did their job...
These questions are not my own.
These are God's.
I'm just a voice.
~Katie
Does God's love shine in your life so much that unbelievers can't help but see that Jesus willingly sacrificed His own life so we could live eternally?
Does your attitude reflect the hope and gift that you have, as a child of God?
You claim you believe in God.
You claim to be saved.
You claim that God is your first priority.
Why fear?
Why anger?
Why sadness? Guilt? Stress? Jealousy?
Why are those still a huge part of your life?
It's GOD, for pete's sake!
Can't you understand that He is so much bigger than that?
Fear was diminished when God promised He would always be there.
Anger was turned to forgiveness when Jesus forgave our sins, even when we didn't deserve it. Sadness was turned to joy when a hope and future were given to us the moment we were born again.
Guilt was wiped away when forgiveness took it's place.
Stress was eased when Christ healed our hearts. Why hold on to it?
Jealousy shouldn't even be a part of our life, because nothing is better than Christ. If you have Christ, why be jealous that you don't have something else?
Is Christ not enough??
Wouldn't it be so cool if the whole world turned to Christ?
Wouldn't it be so amazing if everyone saw the hope that Jesus offers?
Wouldn't it be awesome if everyone was so moved by Christ that all of a sudden nothing else mattered. Nobody else mattered. Problems were not problems anymore. Worldly pleasures were not sought after anymore. Money was not an object anymore. Religion didn't exist.
It would just be Christ, and His church(body of believers).
It would just be a true love relationship between you and the Father.
Wouldn't that be amazing?
If only Christians did their job...
These questions are not my own.
These are God's.
I'm just a voice.
~Katie
Apr 20, 2008
Student Council
I'm so excited.
Jennifer and I, being leaders for the Art Ministry at Glenview, were asked to make and submit T-shirt designs for the greeters/student council.
They may or may not be used though, depending on if they can come up with better ones themselves. But still! I think it's flippin' awesome!
I better get brainstorming....
Jennifer and I, being leaders for the Art Ministry at Glenview, were asked to make and submit T-shirt designs for the greeters/student council.
They may or may not be used though, depending on if they can come up with better ones themselves. But still! I think it's flippin' awesome!
I better get brainstorming....
Mar 13, 2008
Prayer Request
.
The Glenview Family mission trip is headin' to New Orleans this Saturday morning! Last year's trip was focused on demolishing damaged houses, while this trip is focused on rebuilding new houses.
I'm very excited about the trip, and I will be sure to blog about it after my return next Friday.
:-D
With that said, please pray for the trip! Pray for a safe and smooth travel, pray that we will all have a servant's heart, and pray that we will also have very many opportunities to share the gospel to the people in New Orleans, whether that be on the construction site or on the streets(etc..). Most of all, pray that the people in New Orleans will have convicted hearts and will be open to listen to anything we have to say about salvation though Christ. After all, leading someone to Christ is far better than building a house. :-)
Also, pray for me personally.
With the trip getting closer, there are more things coming up that are really stressing me out(and honestly, some of these things really do make me angry sometimes).
But.. I know that Satan's just trying to pull me out of that excitement and motivation to serve... which isn't good. I'm going to need all the extra strength from God I can get!
Bah!..
Stupid Satan...
Anyways, please keep all of this in your prayers; even if you're not going!
I know it's a lot to pray for, but hey!... one small prayer could move a mountain.
The Glenview Family mission trip is headin' to New Orleans this Saturday morning! Last year's trip was focused on demolishing damaged houses, while this trip is focused on rebuilding new houses.
I'm very excited about the trip, and I will be sure to blog about it after my return next Friday.
:-D
With that said, please pray for the trip! Pray for a safe and smooth travel, pray that we will all have a servant's heart, and pray that we will also have very many opportunities to share the gospel to the people in New Orleans, whether that be on the construction site or on the streets(etc..). Most of all, pray that the people in New Orleans will have convicted hearts and will be open to listen to anything we have to say about salvation though Christ. After all, leading someone to Christ is far better than building a house. :-)
Also, pray for me personally.
With the trip getting closer, there are more things coming up that are really stressing me out(and honestly, some of these things really do make me angry sometimes).
But.. I know that Satan's just trying to pull me out of that excitement and motivation to serve... which isn't good. I'm going to need all the extra strength from God I can get!
Bah!..
Stupid Satan...
Anyways, please keep all of this in your prayers; even if you're not going!
I know it's a lot to pray for, but hey!... one small prayer could move a mountain.
Feb 24, 2008
Disciple Now 2008
.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, is difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I promised a blog after I got back from D-now, mainly because I have so much to say and reflect on.
Every year, I come back and say to everyone that D-now was simply amazing and that's all. I couldn't describe how God spoke to me or anything. I could easily say that now, but that won't do justice for those who weren't there. So... I'll give you my whole and honest opinion.
This year's topic was titled "Feed Me". It focused on reading God's word on our own every day, and applying it to our daily lives.
I'm going to be honest with you... I went to d-now with a heavy heart. I had too much on my mind, and certainly way too much stressing me out at home. I was coming to d-now hoping and praying that somehow my problems will be solved and I wouldn't have to be upset about them anymore. I didn't know what to expect this weekend, but on Friday night, God was already stirring in the hearts of everyone. The worship session was a different experience, but most of all, my grade's personal session that evening was incredible. Each girl openly talked about their lives, why they were there, and what they needed help with from God. Some of those girls had doubts about the weekend… they thought it wasn't going to be good at all now that Northwood church wasn't with us this time. They admitted they were very far from God, but were somehow called to come this weekend. That session with our group certainly unified the 10th grade girls, and it sure did prepare us for the weekend.
Saturday morning, all of us spent some personal alone time with God. Considering we all had the same devotional book for the year, each of us were reading the same thing and got to talk about it as a group after our alone time. That same morning, God reminded me of His promise... His promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He will always be there, ready to take me into his arms again even though I've strayed. God was showing me His love never fails... He's my Strong Deliverer and will always lead me towards His way. That thought gave me overwhelming comfort. I could rest in the fact that God was there always! Yes!
So anyways, I'm sure many other people got a different message out of the quiet time, but those are my thoughts.
After the service project that afternoon, we returned to church in the evening for the last large session. We all new something cool was going to happen... because that's what it's like at every d-now on the saturday night lesson. We weren't sure what to expect, but we knew it was going to be good... and I have to say, it was far better than "Good".
Before the worship began, Satan was already trying to let me down. He was trying to distract me from what God was trying to say to me. As I stood there I thought... "Why am I doing this? Why am I going to let Satan control me? Am I going to sit here and let these words pass right over me and not get anything out of them? No! I'm not...."
So anyways.. Satan was gone now and I was soo ready for worship. haha.
I am happy to say that worship was awesome... it was loud and overwhelming with the presence of God. I don't think one person ended with the same thoughts and feelings they had before they began.
Personally, I wanted God to just break my heart... I know that sounds weird to some people, but I didn't want to be let down by other things anymore. I didn't want to carry around my problems wherever I went.. I wanted to be free! I wanted God to break my heart and free me from those things putting me down. I wanted to fall right in front of God and give those things to Him forever! The lesson was about committing to reading God's word every day. Bill spoke and it was honestly like God was standing on the stage rather than him. He told me of His word... His instruction manual for me... and His love letters to me. He wants to have a personal relationship with me and the only way I can achieve that and digging into His word and applying it to my life. I want to grow in Christ, and I want to be closer to Him than I've ever been before! After the message, Bill had an invitation for us to come up to the altar, and light a candle symbolizing our commitment to read and apply the word to our lives. As many people crowded to the front, I still sat in my chair with my face down, holding that unlit candle. Meanwhile the band was playing a hymn called "How Deep the Father's Love for Us", which reminded me of how my own sin have kept Jesus up there on the cross. I'm the one that caused Him to be nailed to that wood! But He did that because He loves me! How deep the father's love for us, indeed! His love for us couldn't be greater or less! He sacrificed everything for our lives! Now, can any of you tell me that we shouldn't read His word and have a personal relationship with Him who gave His life for us? Can anyone tell me they don't have enough time to spend a few minutes everyday with Him who loves us more than anyone else possibly can?! Can you!? Can anyone?! I sure can't! I want to grow close to Him! I want to read His word every day! I'm HUNGRY for Him! I want to FEED MYSELF rather than only growing two days out of the week. Can I only eat food two days out of the week? No.. I have to eat every single day in order to maintain strength. Is that any different than Christ? No... we have to be fed every day in order to maintain spiritual strength, and let me say now that I began this weekend so empty of food and so spiritually weak. It's like I went so long without it, that I didn't know I needed it anymore. I didn't feel the hunger.. but I can now say that I have never been more hungry for Christ and I'm ready to feed myself every day! I don't want to miss a meal!
With that said... I got out of my seat to light my candle. I set that candle up on the stage along with everyone else’s and knelt down, noticing how many candles there were. I saw possibly hundreds of candles lit... one for every person that made a commitment to follow Christ every day. It was an overwhelming moment that filled with heart with joy and conviction and I'm not sure that I've seen anything more beautiful than that.
After the session at church, we all returned to our host homes for another small group session with just the 10th grade girls. It was a time of reflection for those who had anything to say about what God told them at church that evening. One by one, everyone told their testimonies. One girl told us that she recommitted her life to Christ. Another girl told us that she's been living life only for herself for way too long, and has finally made a commitment to change for good and start living for Christ. Another girl told us of how God healed her from a traumatizing situation that happened three years ago. There were also several girls admitted that they hadn't heard from God in a long time, but now they have joy again... they hear God talking, and they can feel God's presence again and it honestly changed them! I'm confident that this is not just a d-now high, but we were all truly changed by what God did this weekend. I was the last one to talk about their testimony... I told them I've been struggling with depression and anger for way too long. My life went downhill very fast about a year ago, and I've had trouble letting go of all that fear that was built up during that time. Like I said earlier, I wanted to be free from those fears and burdens. I came before God that evening the just told him... I want to be FREE! SET ME FREE GOD! SET ME FREE FROM ALL THIS FEAR! and you know what??... God set me free! I don't have that fear anymore! I don't have to be angry with myself anymore! I don't have to be angry with anyone else anymore! I don't have to live in fear every day anymore! And it's an AMAZING feeling! It's an amazing feelings because I can honestly say that Christ lives in me and he will live in me for eternity and I don't want to let a single thing come between me and my personal relationship with Christ because that is far more important than anything else in the world!
GOD SET ME FREE! GOD SET JESSIE FREE! AND TAYLOR FREE! AND JANAE, AND JACLYN, AND KELSEY AND RACHEL AND EVERYONE ELSE! And it showed... the freedom shows...because Christ is our Strong Deliverer.
So that’s pretty much what I said for my testimony. I told them that God has set me free and I'm filled with joy now. Our group leader, Sommer talked about it after that. She even admitted that she's been living is depression and fear for the past year and it's been hard. She wanted to be set free too! She just went on and on about how Christ is in control of our lives. He directs our path. He brings us back to Him. He never stops loving us, and you know that else? He will always be speaking to us! Every time we open God's word and get something out of it, God is speaking to us. Every time we listen to a worship song and something sticks out to us, God is speaking! Why do you say you never hear from God? Why do you say you don't hear His voice? He's speaking! He has always been speaking! He's been calling your name trying to get you back, but everything in life is crowding around and distracting your mind and you can't hear that faint whisper from Christ. Everything is piling up so high that you don't feel the love of God close by. I could easily say that Jesus love you, and you should love Jesus, and nothing else should matter in the world. As much as that sounds so cliche and small, it's true. You're underestimating the meaning of it. Christ loves us... do you know what that means? Do know what He did to express that Love? Yeah.. he died for me..... Yes, of course He died for me, but he suffered through impassable pain and agony and everything possible in the process. Before Christ's crucifixion, He was distressed to death, as Sommer put it... He was sweating blood. He had a fear greater than any of us will ever experience. Jesus even asked God if there was any other way, but there wasn't. Dying on the cross and going through the worst pain anyone can ever go through is the price that had to be paid for our lives. If Jesus didn't love us this much, we wouldn't have gone through that. But He does love us. He loves us so much that he was beaten and bruised. His body was mutilated. He was mocked and made fun of. He was treated worst than dirt. Can you tell me now that Jesus doesn't love you? Can you tell me that you can't rest in the fact that His love never fails and He's always there?? I sure can't say that. As much as I have felt that nobody cared... as much as I've been afraid, I can always know that Jesus loves me... and He will love me more than anyone else can. I can know that He is there to set me free again....always.
That's what God told me this weekend.
What did God tell you? If you didn't go, but just read my post, what has God told you from this? Do you just have any thoughts or comments?
I would really like a reply from all of you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Every year, I come back and say to everyone that D-now was simply amazing and that's all. I couldn't describe how God spoke to me or anything. I could easily say that now, but that won't do justice for those who weren't there. So... I'll give you my whole and honest opinion.
This year's topic was titled "Feed Me". It focused on reading God's word on our own every day, and applying it to our daily lives.
I'm going to be honest with you... I went to d-now with a heavy heart. I had too much on my mind, and certainly way too much stressing me out at home. I was coming to d-now hoping and praying that somehow my problems will be solved and I wouldn't have to be upset about them anymore. I didn't know what to expect this weekend, but on Friday night, God was already stirring in the hearts of everyone. The worship session was a different experience, but most of all, my grade's personal session that evening was incredible. Each girl openly talked about their lives, why they were there, and what they needed help with from God. Some of those girls had doubts about the weekend… they thought it wasn't going to be good at all now that Northwood church wasn't with us this time. They admitted they were very far from God, but were somehow called to come this weekend. That session with our group certainly unified the 10th grade girls, and it sure did prepare us for the weekend.
Saturday morning, all of us spent some personal alone time with God. Considering we all had the same devotional book for the year, each of us were reading the same thing and got to talk about it as a group after our alone time. That same morning, God reminded me of His promise... His promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He will always be there, ready to take me into his arms again even though I've strayed. God was showing me His love never fails... He's my Strong Deliverer and will always lead me towards His way. That thought gave me overwhelming comfort. I could rest in the fact that God was there always! Yes!
So anyways, I'm sure many other people got a different message out of the quiet time, but those are my thoughts.
After the service project that afternoon, we returned to church in the evening for the last large session. We all new something cool was going to happen... because that's what it's like at every d-now on the saturday night lesson. We weren't sure what to expect, but we knew it was going to be good... and I have to say, it was far better than "Good".
Before the worship began, Satan was already trying to let me down. He was trying to distract me from what God was trying to say to me. As I stood there I thought... "Why am I doing this? Why am I going to let Satan control me? Am I going to sit here and let these words pass right over me and not get anything out of them? No! I'm not...."
So anyways.. Satan was gone now and I was soo ready for worship. haha.
I am happy to say that worship was awesome... it was loud and overwhelming with the presence of God. I don't think one person ended with the same thoughts and feelings they had before they began.
Personally, I wanted God to just break my heart... I know that sounds weird to some people, but I didn't want to be let down by other things anymore. I didn't want to carry around my problems wherever I went.. I wanted to be free! I wanted God to break my heart and free me from those things putting me down. I wanted to fall right in front of God and give those things to Him forever! The lesson was about committing to reading God's word every day. Bill spoke and it was honestly like God was standing on the stage rather than him. He told me of His word... His instruction manual for me... and His love letters to me. He wants to have a personal relationship with me and the only way I can achieve that and digging into His word and applying it to my life. I want to grow in Christ, and I want to be closer to Him than I've ever been before! After the message, Bill had an invitation for us to come up to the altar, and light a candle symbolizing our commitment to read and apply the word to our lives. As many people crowded to the front, I still sat in my chair with my face down, holding that unlit candle. Meanwhile the band was playing a hymn called "How Deep the Father's Love for Us", which reminded me of how my own sin have kept Jesus up there on the cross. I'm the one that caused Him to be nailed to that wood! But He did that because He loves me! How deep the father's love for us, indeed! His love for us couldn't be greater or less! He sacrificed everything for our lives! Now, can any of you tell me that we shouldn't read His word and have a personal relationship with Him who gave His life for us? Can anyone tell me they don't have enough time to spend a few minutes everyday with Him who loves us more than anyone else possibly can?! Can you!? Can anyone?! I sure can't! I want to grow close to Him! I want to read His word every day! I'm HUNGRY for Him! I want to FEED MYSELF rather than only growing two days out of the week. Can I only eat food two days out of the week? No.. I have to eat every single day in order to maintain strength. Is that any different than Christ? No... we have to be fed every day in order to maintain spiritual strength, and let me say now that I began this weekend so empty of food and so spiritually weak. It's like I went so long without it, that I didn't know I needed it anymore. I didn't feel the hunger.. but I can now say that I have never been more hungry for Christ and I'm ready to feed myself every day! I don't want to miss a meal!
With that said... I got out of my seat to light my candle. I set that candle up on the stage along with everyone else’s and knelt down, noticing how many candles there were. I saw possibly hundreds of candles lit... one for every person that made a commitment to follow Christ every day. It was an overwhelming moment that filled with heart with joy and conviction and I'm not sure that I've seen anything more beautiful than that.
After the session at church, we all returned to our host homes for another small group session with just the 10th grade girls. It was a time of reflection for those who had anything to say about what God told them at church that evening. One by one, everyone told their testimonies. One girl told us that she recommitted her life to Christ. Another girl told us that she's been living life only for herself for way too long, and has finally made a commitment to change for good and start living for Christ. Another girl told us of how God healed her from a traumatizing situation that happened three years ago. There were also several girls admitted that they hadn't heard from God in a long time, but now they have joy again... they hear God talking, and they can feel God's presence again and it honestly changed them! I'm confident that this is not just a d-now high, but we were all truly changed by what God did this weekend. I was the last one to talk about their testimony... I told them I've been struggling with depression and anger for way too long. My life went downhill very fast about a year ago, and I've had trouble letting go of all that fear that was built up during that time. Like I said earlier, I wanted to be free from those fears and burdens. I came before God that evening the just told him... I want to be FREE! SET ME FREE GOD! SET ME FREE FROM ALL THIS FEAR! and you know what??... God set me free! I don't have that fear anymore! I don't have to be angry with myself anymore! I don't have to be angry with anyone else anymore! I don't have to live in fear every day anymore! And it's an AMAZING feeling! It's an amazing feelings because I can honestly say that Christ lives in me and he will live in me for eternity and I don't want to let a single thing come between me and my personal relationship with Christ because that is far more important than anything else in the world!
GOD SET ME FREE! GOD SET JESSIE FREE! AND TAYLOR FREE! AND JANAE, AND JACLYN, AND KELSEY AND RACHEL AND EVERYONE ELSE! And it showed... the freedom shows...because Christ is our Strong Deliverer.
So that’s pretty much what I said for my testimony. I told them that God has set me free and I'm filled with joy now. Our group leader, Sommer talked about it after that. She even admitted that she's been living is depression and fear for the past year and it's been hard. She wanted to be set free too! She just went on and on about how Christ is in control of our lives. He directs our path. He brings us back to Him. He never stops loving us, and you know that else? He will always be speaking to us! Every time we open God's word and get something out of it, God is speaking to us. Every time we listen to a worship song and something sticks out to us, God is speaking! Why do you say you never hear from God? Why do you say you don't hear His voice? He's speaking! He has always been speaking! He's been calling your name trying to get you back, but everything in life is crowding around and distracting your mind and you can't hear that faint whisper from Christ. Everything is piling up so high that you don't feel the love of God close by. I could easily say that Jesus love you, and you should love Jesus, and nothing else should matter in the world. As much as that sounds so cliche and small, it's true. You're underestimating the meaning of it. Christ loves us... do you know what that means? Do know what He did to express that Love? Yeah.. he died for me..... Yes, of course He died for me, but he suffered through impassable pain and agony and everything possible in the process. Before Christ's crucifixion, He was distressed to death, as Sommer put it... He was sweating blood. He had a fear greater than any of us will ever experience. Jesus even asked God if there was any other way, but there wasn't. Dying on the cross and going through the worst pain anyone can ever go through is the price that had to be paid for our lives. If Jesus didn't love us this much, we wouldn't have gone through that. But He does love us. He loves us so much that he was beaten and bruised. His body was mutilated. He was mocked and made fun of. He was treated worst than dirt. Can you tell me now that Jesus doesn't love you? Can you tell me that you can't rest in the fact that His love never fails and He's always there?? I sure can't say that. As much as I have felt that nobody cared... as much as I've been afraid, I can always know that Jesus loves me... and He will love me more than anyone else can. I can know that He is there to set me free again....always.
That's what God told me this weekend.
What did God tell you? If you didn't go, but just read my post, what has God told you from this? Do you just have any thoughts or comments?
I would really like a reply from all of you.
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2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, is difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Feb 18, 2008
Prayer Request
.
I'm sure many of you have heard about this already. If not, than it's probably not any surprise...
My mom and I were talking about missions today... about the ones coming up at church as well as the ones at home(family). She's really excited that two of my cousins have been coming to church with me and have both accepted Christ since the beginning of the year. She now wants Holly and I to disciple them and build them up so they, too, can share their faith. Not only that, but my mom wants to be able to send them to San Antonio this summer for mission trip, as well as New Orleans next month and possibly D-Now this weekend. She thinks those trips would be very good for them. As much as I agree with all of this, she and I both know that's going to be very very hard on my family when it comes to finances. The money just isn't there, and Holly still wants to go to Romania, and I still want to go to Mexico. AHH!
Now, I have to edmit, I'm so stinkin' tired of asking for prayers for finances. Everyone has trouble with finances, especially when it comes to going to mission trips. There's only so much money that can go toward those. Sadly enough, my mom is stressing about it, and at this point prayer is all I can do.
Soooooo, could you all pretty please pray for my family?!.. mainly my cousins though... because I don't want anything more than to be able to send them on those mission trips coming up, instead of turning them down for stupid financial reasons. Blaaghh..
I'm sure many of you have heard about this already. If not, than it's probably not any surprise...
My mom and I were talking about missions today... about the ones coming up at church as well as the ones at home(family). She's really excited that two of my cousins have been coming to church with me and have both accepted Christ since the beginning of the year. She now wants Holly and I to disciple them and build them up so they, too, can share their faith. Not only that, but my mom wants to be able to send them to San Antonio this summer for mission trip, as well as New Orleans next month and possibly D-Now this weekend. She thinks those trips would be very good for them. As much as I agree with all of this, she and I both know that's going to be very very hard on my family when it comes to finances. The money just isn't there, and Holly still wants to go to Romania, and I still want to go to Mexico. AHH!
Now, I have to edmit, I'm so stinkin' tired of asking for prayers for finances. Everyone has trouble with finances, especially when it comes to going to mission trips. There's only so much money that can go toward those. Sadly enough, my mom is stressing about it, and at this point prayer is all I can do.
Soooooo, could you all pretty please pray for my family?!.. mainly my cousins though... because I don't want anything more than to be able to send them on those mission trips coming up, instead of turning them down for stupid financial reasons. Blaaghh..
Feb 7, 2008
Baptism
25 youth just got baptized this evening at Glenview's massive baptism night. Two of those youth are my cousins, Lauren and Tricia. I'm very proud of them, as well as everyone else there tonight!
Please continue to pray for each one of them, as they may possible be taking the first steps of their Christian walk. Pray that they will continue to live for Christ each day, and display God's love through them too.
By the way...
I was able to take some closer pictures of the baptisms. I'll send an email including all the photos to anyone who asks for it. :-D
Please continue to pray for each one of them, as they may possible be taking the first steps of their Christian walk. Pray that they will continue to live for Christ each day, and display God's love through them too.
By the way...
I was able to take some closer pictures of the baptisms. I'll send an email including all the photos to anyone who asks for it. :-D
Jan 16, 2008
I'm left speechless...
.
God is watching over me. I know He's close. I can feel Him!
It's an amazing feeling, ain't it?
Youth was great this evening. I can't even begin to explain it... it'd take too long, haha.
But...
My cousin, Lauren, gave her life to Christ. It left me with overwhelming tears of joy.
I know that my little cousin is now my sister in Christ! :-D
We sang this song in worship.
Just read it... or sing it, perhaps. Focus on the words though.
Normally, I'd put some words in bold, if they really stuck out to me... but then I realized that the whole song stuck out to me... every word.
:-)
How Deep the Father's Love for Us
How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
GOD BLESS!!
God is watching over me. I know He's close. I can feel Him!
It's an amazing feeling, ain't it?
Youth was great this evening. I can't even begin to explain it... it'd take too long, haha.
But...
My cousin, Lauren, gave her life to Christ. It left me with overwhelming tears of joy.
I know that my little cousin is now my sister in Christ! :-D
We sang this song in worship.
Just read it... or sing it, perhaps. Focus on the words though.
Normally, I'd put some words in bold, if they really stuck out to me... but then I realized that the whole song stuck out to me... every word.
:-)
How Deep the Father's Love for Us
How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
GOD BLESS!!
Jan 9, 2008
Define the Mundane.
.
(WARNING: Really long post. I hope you read it anyways though)
Fear:
–noun
1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
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It's funny how a small little word can mess up a life.
I've talked about this before("Resolutions" blog a few days ago). It's important though. I don't talk about it just so I have something to talk about. It's a serious issue that I've thought about a lot lately, and unfortunately, a lot of people struggle with, including myself.
Think about it... what causes your own fear? Family? Friends? Work? You're past? It could be anything, really.
For the past week, or so, I've been talking to a girl about what is going on to create so much fear in her life(Her name will remain anonymous). She's very scared of her family. It seems that her worst fear is being hurt, physically, or emotionally. Frankly, I know where she's coming from, which is why I'm trying my best to help her.
My worst fear is abuse. I've been hurt before. I know what it's like. Yes, it could have been worse, but it still hurts. It's a huge battle to not let that fear take over. I'm seeing this same thing in her. She's afraid to talk. She's afraid to let people know she has a mask.
For those of you who didn't know, I was depressed for the majority of 2007. I was being verbally, and emotionally hurt by my family, and by some of my friends. Eventually, I found myself with a great fear of talking to people about it. I didn't like to talk about it. I didn't want people to see me depressed. I tried to hide that. I was too afraid to ask for help.
As I kept these secrets, people began to notice a change in me. Some of them noticed I wasn't myself. Some of them didn't see anything at all.
I held anger and sadness for so long, which caused me to be hurt more easily by things that wouldn't normally depress me. Some of those who I care about most were hurting me, even though they had no idea what they were doing to me. It was all just because I was scared and distressed. I hated myself. I hated who I had become. I hated how I thought, and felt. It was just a big mess.
I'm still being hurt now.. but God has shown me a new light. He's shown me how faithful He is. He's shown me this by his everlasting love and care for me. I was being let down my Satan for so long, and it wasn't until December that I pushed Satan out of this. I'm still healing.. I still struggle with fear and depression but I know now that God's always with me. He will always give me the strength to get out, if I just submit to Him.
With all that said, I want you to analyze your life. What's causing your fear? One of my other friends is very upset right now, because she's afraid of what will happen between her and this other boy. She likes him, but she's so caught up in hopes that he liked her back that everything slightly negative lets her down into depression and doubt. In her case, fear of rejection is holding her down from what God's love can give her.
My mom is very scared of finances right now. She's angry with how difficult things are right now. She's afraid that we won't be able to pay for anything if God doesn't work His magic right now. Don't you understand?! You can't always assume God will answer prayers right away. He will answer them on His time.. not yours! Sure, it might be hard for awhile, but He's got another plan. Honestly, do you think God will let us go bankrupt and lose our house, and lose all our ability to get medicine and gas for my dad? NO! God's faithful, even when you aren't.
I've talked to my mom about this before.. I asked her why she doesn't have faith? Why does she let this kind of stuff take over her attitude? I don't even fully understand her excuse... It's a mom thing, I guess. That doesn't mean that faith is impossible though... anybody, and everybody, should have faith.
You cannot accomplish your goals by yourself. You cannot meet your needs if you do not have complete faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, who has control over anything.
I know someone who's struggling with the fear of losing a friendship. I've got a friend who has the fear or being "disowned" my her mother. I've got a friend who has the fear of not being loved by a boyfriend, or guy.
You see what I mean? Fear is everywhere, and it controls the life of everyone at some point, which is why this is very important to me. It's very important that I help and encourage others to let go of their fears too, and built a personal relationship with Christ so they will be ready to face the devil each time he tries to throw them off course.
Think about this.. and pray. Ask God to take those fears from you. Maybe you have a fear that you've held onto for years, perhaps from your young childhood. Maybe you have a fear that you just got, because something tragic happened. Maybe you have a fear that just "randomly" came because the thoughts of it happening scares you... or maybe the thought ot it not happening scares you.
Just honestly pray.. ask God to take those fears. Ask God to push Satan out of the picture. Ask Him to give you strength and faith to last you for a lifetime! Just come close to God.. don't give up on Him. Build that everlasting relationship with God, that's worth more than life itself!!
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Matthew 6:34
Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own.
2 Timothy 2:11-13
Here is a trustworthy saying:
If we died with him,
We will also live with Him
If we endure,
We will also reign with him.
If we disown Him,
He will also disown us,
If we are faithless,
He will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown Himself.
John 16:24
Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.
John 16:33
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
1 Peter 1:7
These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what he hope for and certain of what we do not see.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Heck, I'll add lyrics too. They're powerful.
(WARNING: Really long post. I hope you read it anyways though)
Fear:
–noun
1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It's funny how a small little word can mess up a life.
I've talked about this before("Resolutions" blog a few days ago). It's important though. I don't talk about it just so I have something to talk about. It's a serious issue that I've thought about a lot lately, and unfortunately, a lot of people struggle with, including myself.
Think about it... what causes your own fear? Family? Friends? Work? You're past? It could be anything, really.
For the past week, or so, I've been talking to a girl about what is going on to create so much fear in her life(Her name will remain anonymous). She's very scared of her family. It seems that her worst fear is being hurt, physically, or emotionally. Frankly, I know where she's coming from, which is why I'm trying my best to help her.
My worst fear is abuse. I've been hurt before. I know what it's like. Yes, it could have been worse, but it still hurts. It's a huge battle to not let that fear take over. I'm seeing this same thing in her. She's afraid to talk. She's afraid to let people know she has a mask.
For those of you who didn't know, I was depressed for the majority of 2007. I was being verbally, and emotionally hurt by my family, and by some of my friends. Eventually, I found myself with a great fear of talking to people about it. I didn't like to talk about it. I didn't want people to see me depressed. I tried to hide that. I was too afraid to ask for help.
As I kept these secrets, people began to notice a change in me. Some of them noticed I wasn't myself. Some of them didn't see anything at all.
I held anger and sadness for so long, which caused me to be hurt more easily by things that wouldn't normally depress me. Some of those who I care about most were hurting me, even though they had no idea what they were doing to me. It was all just because I was scared and distressed. I hated myself. I hated who I had become. I hated how I thought, and felt. It was just a big mess.
I'm still being hurt now.. but God has shown me a new light. He's shown me how faithful He is. He's shown me this by his everlasting love and care for me. I was being let down my Satan for so long, and it wasn't until December that I pushed Satan out of this. I'm still healing.. I still struggle with fear and depression but I know now that God's always with me. He will always give me the strength to get out, if I just submit to Him.
With all that said, I want you to analyze your life. What's causing your fear? One of my other friends is very upset right now, because she's afraid of what will happen between her and this other boy. She likes him, but she's so caught up in hopes that he liked her back that everything slightly negative lets her down into depression and doubt. In her case, fear of rejection is holding her down from what God's love can give her.
My mom is very scared of finances right now. She's angry with how difficult things are right now. She's afraid that we won't be able to pay for anything if God doesn't work His magic right now. Don't you understand?! You can't always assume God will answer prayers right away. He will answer them on His time.. not yours! Sure, it might be hard for awhile, but He's got another plan. Honestly, do you think God will let us go bankrupt and lose our house, and lose all our ability to get medicine and gas for my dad? NO! God's faithful, even when you aren't.
I've talked to my mom about this before.. I asked her why she doesn't have faith? Why does she let this kind of stuff take over her attitude? I don't even fully understand her excuse... It's a mom thing, I guess. That doesn't mean that faith is impossible though... anybody, and everybody, should have faith.
You cannot accomplish your goals by yourself. You cannot meet your needs if you do not have complete faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, who has control over anything.
I know someone who's struggling with the fear of losing a friendship. I've got a friend who has the fear or being "disowned" my her mother. I've got a friend who has the fear of not being loved by a boyfriend, or guy.
You see what I mean? Fear is everywhere, and it controls the life of everyone at some point, which is why this is very important to me. It's very important that I help and encourage others to let go of their fears too, and built a personal relationship with Christ so they will be ready to face the devil each time he tries to throw them off course.
Think about this.. and pray. Ask God to take those fears from you. Maybe you have a fear that you've held onto for years, perhaps from your young childhood. Maybe you have a fear that you just got, because something tragic happened. Maybe you have a fear that just "randomly" came because the thoughts of it happening scares you... or maybe the thought ot it not happening scares you.
Just honestly pray.. ask God to take those fears. Ask God to push Satan out of the picture. Ask Him to give you strength and faith to last you for a lifetime! Just come close to God.. don't give up on Him. Build that everlasting relationship with God, that's worth more than life itself!!
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Matthew 6:34
Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own.
2 Timothy 2:11-13
Here is a trustworthy saying:
If we died with him,
We will also live with Him
If we endure,
We will also reign with him.
If we disown Him,
He will also disown us,
If we are faithless,
He will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown Himself.
John 16:24
Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.
John 16:33
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
1 Peter 1:7
These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what he hope for and certain of what we do not see.
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Heck, I'll add lyrics too. They're powerful.
Stand in the Rain - Superchic[k]
.
She never slows down.
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone,
feels like its all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear,
the tears will not stop raining down
.
[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain
.
She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.
.
[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain
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