Sad, Sad Story.

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Once upon a time... a girl named Katie went to David's Bridal in hopes of finding a reasonably affordable prom dress.
Little did she know that she would fall in love with a beautiful dress that just HAPPENS to be $300.

*shrug*

The End.
Not a happy ending... because the darn beautiful dress made everything else look bad after that.

It's that time of year again...

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Prom season.
Dun DUN DUUUUUN!

This year's theme is Once Upon a Time... (Similar to Return to Camelot, the theme four years ago).
Registration is next week. My mom's now pushing me to find an escort.
*sigh*
I'm still trying to find a dress that I can afford! The last thing on my mind is finding an escort to the prom.

With that said, anybody got any ideas where to find a good dress that's uber cheep? I've tried Half of Half, but they don't have anything decent. *shrug*

Maybe I can convince my mom to take me to the mall this week. Hmm...

What on Earth are you doing, for Heaven's sake?!

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I've been thinking a whole lot about my purpose on this earth. It seems like I'm caught up in a bunch of drama right now, but after really thinking about it, none of that matters very much. Today, I was reminded of my current Myspace quote(this post's title), and the general meaning of it.

What are you doing on earth that will glorify God in Heaven?? In reality, nothing on this earth will matter by the time you reach Heaven. Yes, the things you do and say matter when it comes to glorifying God, but none of it will be of any importance later on. Life on earth isn't even the beginning. The ultimate, eternal life will begin when we meet Jesus face to face in Heaven, where we will worship the Lord day and night, and we will never have to worry about sadness and depression! Ain't that awesome?!

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that whatever you're struggling with (family, friends, work, relationship drama, etc..) will not matter. We(as humans) spend so much time worrying about our earthly problems, and don't take notice of what really matters to God.
Think of it like this... imagine yourself sitting together with some friends, and one of them starts talking to you, but you're mind wonders and you don't even notice that your friend is talking to you. The next thing you know, he's waving his hands in your face to get your attention. He wants you to listen to what he's saying!.. but you're thinking about something else that probably doesn't even matter.
God is your friend... He's trying to get your attention. He's trying to tell you what's important. If you're too caught up with your own issues, you're going to miss out on what God's saying to you.. which is cast all your burdens on Him. Your purpose on earth is to glorify God and spread the news of Salvation. Our purpose is not to get married to the perfect person. Our purpose is not to get straight A's all through your educational career and go to the best college. Our purpose isn't to own the best company, and have a whole lot of money. Even though these are great achievements, they will not be beneficial in Heaven. You will not reach Heaven's gates and be informed that you led an amazing life through your remarkable earthly achievements. You will be judged on whether you were a Good and Faithful Servant or not. You reach that Heavenly achievement by living each day according to God's plan, and submitting to God when you don't know what that plan is just yet. It's not always easy, but God promises a happy ending(Jer. 29:11).


Are you ready? Are you ready to leave this earth at any given moment? Or are you still caught up in worldly concerns?

Life

Life is currently...

Crazy...
but in a good way...

Annoying...
but bearable... sometimes.

Stressful...
but could be worse.

Pleasing...
when I stay devoted to God.

Good...
but overwhelmed with thoughts and concerns.




It's a interesting mix, really.



InOtherNews:
My "little sister" recommitted her life to Christ Saturday morning, at Glenview's massive lock-in(at approximately 5:30 a.m).
This totally makes me happy!
If you don't know who my "little sister" is... Well... you'll figure it out eventually. ;)

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Random photo:

I'm left speechless...

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God is watching over me. I know He's close. I can feel Him!

It's an amazing feeling, ain't it?


Youth was great this evening. I can't even begin to explain it... it'd take too long, haha.

But...
My cousin, Lauren, gave her life to Christ. It left me with overwhelming tears of joy.
I know that my little cousin is now my sister in Christ! :-D



We sang this song in worship.
Just read it... or sing it, perhaps. Focus on the words though.
Normally, I'd put some words in bold, if they really stuck out to me... but then I realized that the whole song stuck out to me... every word.
:-)




How Deep the Father's Love for Us


How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom



GOD BLESS!!

Note to Self:

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You ain't need nuttin' when you got Jesus.



Oh, and life RAWKS.
Just so you know...

Define the Mundane.

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(WARNING: Really long post. I hope you read it anyways though)



Fear:

–noun
1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.


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It's funny how a small little word can mess up a life.
I've talked about this before("Resolutions" blog a few days ago). It's important though. I don't talk about it just so I have something to talk about. It's a serious issue that I've thought about a lot lately, and unfortunately, a lot of people struggle with, including myself.

Think about it... what causes your own fear? Family? Friends? Work? You're past? It could be anything, really.
For the past week, or so, I've been talking to a girl about what is going on to create so much fear in her life(Her name will remain anonymous). She's very scared of her family. It seems that her worst fear is being hurt, physically, or emotionally. Frankly, I know where she's coming from, which is why I'm trying my best to help her.
My worst fear is abuse. I've been hurt before. I know what it's like. Yes, it could have been worse, but it still hurts. It's a huge battle to not let that fear take over. I'm seeing this same thing in her. She's afraid to talk. She's afraid to let people know she has a mask.

For those of you who didn't know, I was depressed for the majority of 2007. I was being verbally, and emotionally hurt by my family, and by some of my friends. Eventually, I found myself with a great fear of talking to people about it. I didn't like to talk about it. I didn't want people to see me depressed. I tried to hide that. I was too afraid to ask for help.
As I kept these secrets, people began to notice a change in me. Some of them noticed I wasn't myself. Some of them didn't see anything at all.
I held anger and sadness for so long, which caused me to be hurt more easily by things that wouldn't normally depress me. Some of those who I care about most were hurting me, even though they had no idea what they were doing to me. It was all just because I was scared and distressed. I hated myself. I hated who I had become. I hated how I thought, and felt. It was just a big mess.


I'm still being hurt now.. but God has shown me a new light. He's shown me how faithful He is. He's shown me this by his everlasting love and care for me. I was being let down my Satan for so long, and it wasn't until December that I pushed Satan out of this. I'm still healing.. I still struggle with fear and depression but I know now that God's always with me. He will always give me the strength to get out, if I just submit to Him.

With all that said, I want you to analyze your life. What's causing your fear? One of my other friends is very upset right now, because she's afraid of what will happen between her and this other boy. She likes him, but she's so caught up in hopes that he liked her back that everything slightly negative lets her down into depression and doubt. In her case, fear of rejection is holding her down from what God's love can give her.
My mom is very scared of finances right now. She's angry with how difficult things are right now. She's afraid that we won't be able to pay for anything if God doesn't work His magic right now. Don't you understand?! You can't always assume God will answer prayers right away. He will answer them on His time.. not yours! Sure, it might be hard for awhile, but He's got another plan. Honestly, do you think God will let us go bankrupt and lose our house, and lose all our ability to get medicine and gas for my dad? NO! God's faithful, even when you aren't.
I've talked to my mom about this before.. I asked her why she doesn't have faith? Why does she let this kind of stuff take over her attitude? I don't even fully understand her excuse... It's a mom thing, I guess. That doesn't mean that faith is impossible though... anybody, and everybody, should have faith.
You cannot accomplish your goals by yourself. You cannot meet your needs if you do not have complete faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, who has control over anything.

I know someone who's struggling with the fear of losing a friendship. I've got a friend who has the fear or being "disowned" my her mother. I've got a friend who has the fear of not being loved by a boyfriend, or guy.
You see what I mean? Fear is everywhere, and it controls the life of everyone at some point, which is why this is very important to me. It's very important that I help and encourage others to let go of their fears too, and built a personal relationship with Christ so they will be ready to face the devil each time he tries to throw them off course.

Think about this.. and pray. Ask God to take those fears from you. Maybe you have a fear that you've held onto for years, perhaps from your young childhood. Maybe you have a fear that you just got, because something tragic happened. Maybe you have a fear that just "randomly" came because the thoughts of it happening scares you... or maybe the thought ot it not happening scares you.
Just honestly pray.. ask God to take those fears. Ask God to push Satan out of the picture. Ask Him to give you strength and faith to last you for a lifetime! Just come close to God.. don't give up on Him. Build that everlasting relationship with God, that's worth more than life itself!!


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Matthew 6:34
Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own.

2 Timothy 2:11-13
Here is a trustworthy saying:

If we died with him,
We will also live with Him
If we endure,
We will also reign with him.
If we disown Him,
He will also disown us,
If we are faithless,
He will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown Himself.

John 16:24
Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.

John 16:33
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

1 Peter 1:7
These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what he hope for and certain of what we do not see.


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Heck, I'll add lyrics too. They're powerful.

Stand in the Rain - Superchic[k]

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She never slows down.

She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone,

feels like its all coming down

She won't turn around

The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear,

the tears will not stop raining down

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[CHORUS]

So stand in the rain

Stand your ground

Stand up when it's all crashing down

You stand through the pain

You won't drown

And one day, whats lost can be found

You stand in the rain

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She won't make a sound

Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down

She wants to be found

The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.

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[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

Back in the Day...

I've been going through my documents and files for the past few days. Evidently, I've filled up my C drive with way more pictures that I'll ever use, so I'm trying to delete some.

When I was in middle school, I took a LOT of pictures. That's what happens when you buy a digital camera for a 13-year-old! *COUGHcassieCOUGH* ;)

This is great though. I'm reminded of what kind of person I was in Junior High.
Crazy, spastic, loud, and annoying... just like now, only dangerous. Puh...

That's just scary...

The classic "hairbrush microphone".

I call this one "Talk to the Hand". (I think I was 12 at the time.. or just turned 13)

Mmm...

Have I ever mentioned I was born cross-eyed?
No, seriously... I was. It's just not very noticeable now. Hah..

This picture is as old as dirt. That's Kailey Hinkle's arm, btw.

I've got older, more embarrassing pictures... but lucky for you, you won't see them! Bahahaa.

Prayer Request

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My family is struggling with finances. (well.. we always did.. but it's worse now).

My parent's lost most of our health insurance. My dad is only getting 18 dollars a week now(for some reason I don't fully know). My mom works at Log Cabin Village, but that's not very good pay. Most of our income comes from my dad, who works at Lockheed.. We've considered asking them to hire him as a new worker, so he can actually get better insurance, but that has it's negative sides too.

Both of my parents are really stressing about this now. If this lasts much longer(meaning weeks, or days), we aren't going to be able to pay for gas, food, and medications, and we're going to be in major dept.. again.

My mom told me I probably won't be able to get my license in March. We don't have money for gas anyways. She also said that it's going to effect our ability to pay for prom, mission trips, and getting new contacts lenses for me, which we were originally going to do this month.
I'm not too concerned about those right now. We just need our weekly essentials.

*sigh*
I asked my mom if I could get a job once I turn 16 in two months.. maybe something within walking or bike distance so gas isn't an issue. It all depends if I can keep my grades up in school.

I don't see myself being involved in those musicals at church anymore.. haha.

Well anyways, prayers would be much appreciated... Mainly for the parents. I'm confident that God has a way out of the financial issue, but I don't want to see my parents stressing about it 24/7.

Joey Who?

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As I was doing the laundry this evening, I discovered names written on the inside of the hamper. The name Joey is written twice(both with a backwards "J"). The names Holly, Katie, and Kayla are also written. Kayla was the name of my friend is kindergarten... But Joey was Holly's crush in kindergarten. I just don't understand...

Did I really hide and play inside the laundry hamper when I was 5 or 6 years old?? I don't remember ever writing that! Why did it take me 10 years to see it???


No idea. I was a strange child who wrote my name on everything, apparently.

Now.. I really don't understand the "JA" in front of Holly's name. I guess it's some boy-crazy-7-year-old-girl code or something. :-P
Just kidding, Holly.

I do, however, remember scratching my name in the bathroom door at about the same age.
Name's hard to see, so I pointed it out in the second picture.

Yes, bad handwriting. By hey, I was probably only 6 years old!

Resolutions

New Year. New "Resolutions".




1. Renew and strengthen my relationship with Christ.
For the past year or two, I've gone through many things that require me to have total trust in God. Fear is a definite struggle in me. It could easily take over my life and throw it completely off course. I've realized how much this world revolves around fear. I was talking to Chadd about that today. Every movie.. and book.. and TV show has something to do with fear. Fear of loneliness, fear of love, fear of rejection, fear of failure, etc. Almost every decision made on this earth is also made in fear of something. Look at teen pregnancy.. girls have the fear that they aren't loved so they give themselves to guys in attempt to get love. Look at spouse abuse. Adults are afraid of being alone, or not having enough income, so they marry anyone who can get in their arms to satisfy their needs or wants. Look at teens constantly cutting and hurting themselves. They're afraid to tell somebody what's bothering them because they have the fear of being rejected or judged, which results in a lot of depression. All of this happens. I see it every day. I talk to people all the time who go through these type of things.
With that said, one of my goals for 2008(and the rest of my life) is to have total and complete faith in God each day. I don't want fear to get in the way of what God is calling me to do.


2. I like to help and encourage people. I've had several people come up to me this week and ask for help. Most of them just needed encouragement and God's love. Some needed advice on what to do about a certain problem they're struggling with. So, my goal is basically to reach out to people... To other youth, or just about anyone who needs it. To some people, I'm just another youth.. just another teen who doesn't know what they're saying. Honestly, I don't always say the right thing. I'm human.. I don't know everything. But I can tell you now that Christ lives in me, and He will give me the words to speak if His Will allows. If not, than God's got someone else in mind to talk to that person.


3. As Keisha says, I'm "Artsy Fartsy". I love doing art. I love painting, drawing, taking pictures, etc. I'd love to go farther in that passion. I'd like to make great things. I'd like to make a painting for the loft or prayer room. I'd like to take a few steps in the Art Ministry with Jennifer... because it's clearly on a stand-still right now. My goal this year is to work on that type of stuff more. After all, I want to major in Visual Arts once I get to college... :-D


4. Regain closeness in my family. It hasn't been there in years. I'd like it back. Also regain trust from my parents. They seriously underestimate my abilities and honesty.



Here are some of the "smaller" goals:


5. Eat healthy and exercise. I haven't exercised in ages, and I certainly don't eat healthy. I'm not really trying got lose weight, just stay healthy. It's always good to be healthy. :-)


6. Manage money better. I don't get very much money a week, so I need to learn to use it wisely. God willing, I'll get a job this year to pay for missions and school, seeing as how I'm already on the verge of financial independence.


7. Stop losing expensive things. I lost a phone and a pair of glasses.. and broke a contact lens. My parents don't really trust to buy me replacements, nor do they have the money. I just need to be more careful... especially considering I get my license in two months.






Those are just a few from my list. I've got plenty more.. but I don't want to type them all.

Let me know what your resolutions are. :-)

Photo Blog *Updated*

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(Update: I got my mom's pictures, so I added/changed a few pictures since I posted this yesterday)

I just had a weekend packed with events. Here's a "few" pictures.




Saturday, Dec 29. Grand-dad's 73rd Birthday Gathering:



We all went to Parton's pizza, a small pizza parlor owned by good friend's of my grand-dad.

Aimee, Holly, and Aunt Cindy being "gangster".

This pose is way too common...

Back row: Aunt Cindy, Aunt Donna, Michelle, Cousins Aimee, Holly, Me, Uncle Stan, Cousins Evan, Uncle Dean, Aunt Vicky.
Front row: Cousin Emily, Cousin Mallory, Grand-dad, Cousin Evy, Grandmother-louise, Mom, Cousin Will, Dad.

Sunday, Dec 30. Christmas gathering with Grandmother's side of the family:

Tricia(cousin) and her new stuff.

Lauren(cousin) got High School Musical 2... which we watched later that night.

My grandmother showing off her new clothes.

Michelle and I were trying to squish Holly.

Sunday, Dec 30(continued): Lauren stayed at our house for the night. Her sister, Tricia, came over the next morning. My sisters and I were going to get them ready for their Brother's wedding that evening.

These pictures are just Lauren and I being weird waay past our bedtime.

I'm not sure.. Lauren had the idea of pulling up our pants as high as they would possibly go..

Rawr.

Hah.. she's so short.

Monday morning, Dec 31.

We spent a total of 5 hours getting everyone ready(5 teenage girls). Showers, Hair, Make-up, everything...

Lauren's "Before" Pictures.

Lauren's "after" pictures. I did her hair. Michelle did her make-up.

I pinned a neckclace around her hair to add some "glam". I also added a few clips for more shine.

Tricia's "Before" picture.

Tricia's "After" pictures. Michelle did her hair and make-up.

I curled my own hair. Michelle finished it off with some pins and flowers in the back.

I did Holly's hair.

Monday, Dec 31(continued). Danny and Kimmie's Wedding:

They had a slide show during the ceremony. The picture showing currently is a wrecked car from the major accident Danny and Kimmie were in in March of 2005. It's a miracle that both of them lived through it.

Kimmie "creamed" Danny.

My grandparents and Danny

Monday. Dec 31(continued again..). New Years Eve party after the wedding at my parent's friend's house:

Playing "Signs"... as usual.

We were singing along with Taylor Swift on tv.

Sparkling Cider. Mmmm...

Holly and Lauren were fighting with their horn things...

I was showing lauren how to pop the crackers.

Holly and Ryan.

Meghan and I.

Ryan was break-dancing in the front yard right after midnight.

We set off our own fireworks. The neighbors joined too...

Tuesday, Jan 1.
Mom, Michelle, Holly, Lauren, and I went to Galleria Dallas. I took a few pictures of the decorations.

The lens had a smudge on it, but it turned out looking interesting..

Sunset reflections on the buildings.

That's all for now.

Happy New Year!