I'm the wrech from the song

.
I listen to a song a few days ago... Dirty and Left Out by The Almost.
I lyrics are really cool, but it reminded me how much of a dirty rotten sinner I am.
I'll be honest, my focus hasn't been that great for the past few weeks, and I find myself constantly falling away, and it really hurts. I've broken down more times in the past two weeks than I can even remember, and I can confidently say that it's because I haven't been close with God lately.

I really want that back.
It's so much nicer than the world.

Puh...




Hello, I swear I won't be too long
Hello, I promise I'll be real strong
Wait up I just want to tell you
Hold up why are you still here?

I've been dirtier than you wanna know
I've left earlier than you'll ever know
Why do you wanna be all listening to me?
Why do you spread your arms and tell me I'm free?
Why do you wanna be in my life,
in my life?

I've been dirtier than you wanna know
I've left earlier than you'll ever know

Jesus, Jesus,
There's something about Your name
Master, Saviour, Jesus

I've been dirtier than you wanna know
I've left earlier than you'll ever know

Jesus, Jesus

Well...

.
Sorry I haven't posted a blog in a while.
I haven't really had time to think about what to write.

Mexico Mission Trip leaves this Saturday.
I'm very excited and see what's going to happen, and there's not much else I can say. God has been working through our youth this summer in amazing ways already.
Romania mission trip just got back this afternoon, and from what I heard in the middle of the week, they had already led 50 people to Christ.
That's pretty cool if you ask me...


InOtherNews:

SAT prep classes are over, thank goodness.
They were dreadful, I'm not going to lie.
Overall, I didn't do a horrible job at it, but the outcome wasn't mind-blowing.
Oh well...
That kind of studying just isn't for me, I guess.

Other than that, not so much has been happening.
It's kinda been a rough couple of weeks, emotionally and spiritually, but that's for reasons beyond what I'm willing to talk about on here(for privacy's sake, so don't take offense).
So, if you don't mind, please keep me in your prayers for the next couple weeks.

Thanks.
:-)

I'll try my best to blog again soon.

~Katie

Uncertain...

.
For those of you who don't know, my dad has been applying for jobs in Germany, Japan, and Cuba(all same job, just different locations). He's applying for jobs out of the country because, supposedly, the pay is high enough to pay off our house in about a year and a half, and start my parents retirement, as well as help with Holly's and my college. My mom's worried about getting through the summer, considering gas prices are so high, so my parents are trying so hard to get my dad a job that pays better.
If the company replies about my dad's resume, and wants to hire him, he'll have to move to Cuba(or wherever) for at least a year. Whether the rest of the family will be with him is uncertain at this point. We may just be with him for 45 days, depending on rules. Maybe not at all.

But who knows, maybe they don't want to hire him.
But I'm freakin' scared, I'll be honest.
I don't want to move anywhere for a year, and I can't even last a year without my dad.
But we can't make it without money either.


I really need some more faith right now.
*sigh*

Photography

.

It's summer.

I have a little more extra time that I usually do, so I've been taking advantage of that time by taking pictures or editing ones I already have.

I'm a crazy nut with a camera. I don't leave my house without it. I have hundreds of pictures posted on my myspace. I edit pictures when I get bored.

I think it's pretty clear I want to be a photographer someday.

But anyways, I've grown a fascination for taking pictures of people, generally Holly(since she's always around), and myself(not being egotistic, but like I said, I get bored).

I'll post some of them to show you. Some of these are as much as a year old, but some are also from this week. I may post another photo blog not specified in humanity later on. Not sure yet...

Let me know what you think of them. I'd really like an input.

-

-

-

(Probably one of my favorites)
-

-

-


-


-


-

-

-

-


-

-

-

-

(Another favorite)
-

-

-

-

-

Self Portaits.
The ones on the bottom were clearly not taken by me... they were taken by Holly, but I did edit them myself.

-

-

-

-

-

(not the best quality, but I like it anyway)
-

-


-


-


-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Thankful

*sigh*

I went swing dancing this evening with my mom and sister. We used to go every Tuesday almost two years ago, but Michelle went to college so we didn't continue. Ben invited us to come again, so we did. I didn't have a dance partner for the majority of the time, so I found myself unbearably bored for awhile, but once free dance had started, I had many guys asking to dance, most of which were 30-40 years older than me. What surprised me, though, was how many questions I got about the t-shirt I decided to wear(D-now 2005 "Are you awe-full?"). After telling one man(while dancing, I might add) what the shirt meant, he replied with a boisterous "Really?!". He told me he was Jewish and what his beliefs really apply to. I asked him if he considered himself to be saved, and he told me "absolutely!". It was interesting talking to him about it, and I was really surprised to get an opportunity like that.
We ended the dance with him telling me "What a great witness that is.."

I'm so thankful for things like that.
No, I didn't lead someone to Christ, but I talked to someone about Him.
I don't normally do that, especially to complete strangers whom I find slightly creepy.

As I sat in the car on the way home this evening, I was reminded on how much "stuff" has taken over our lives, and how much money is being put before God. I passed by a nice furniture store, and watched a large slick red truck drive by, and I thought to myself "Why?? Why do we wants so much stuff? Why must we have the nicest car, or prettiest home?"
It doesn't really make a whole lot of sense.
Life is way more than that.
Life is Christ.
Christ only.
Technology is so overrated.
Designer clothes are sought after too much.
And for Pete's sake, Godiva Chocolate shouldn't cost 25$.
All these "Must haves" are just distractions from what really matters.

Take some time to get in touch with God, through what He gave you... His word. Take some time to think about what matters... His children, whom He wants to be saved.
Talk to someone.
What do you have to lose?
What if you do lose something?
Well, that something wouldn't matter anyway.
It's just "stuff". That doesn't only apply to tangible possessions.


I'm thankful for God's gifts. They're provided by Him only, not human.

Prayer Request

.
I haven't asked for prayer in a while, but it seems a lot is going on and I could really use the extra strength, wisdom, patients, and whatever else it's going to take.


So, pray for me.

Let me know if you want me to pray for too, about anything.



Thank you.
Katie

Venting

I looked out for you.
I only wanted the best.
I was angry when you were hurt, even if you were the one doing something wrong.
I defended you.
You were so worried.
You stressed and cried about it every night.
You only wanted peace.
But in the mean time, I looked out for you.

Why don't you do the same.
It's like our relationship doesn't even matter.
It should matter, far more than the one you were so worried about.
Because you know what? I'm the one that feels betrayed now.
You've turned away before, but I forgave you. You turn away again, and I've had enough. I'm not trusted. You think I'm not telling the truth. You've taken sides against me.


I don't understand.
Why am I the one doing everything wrong?





I apologize for my venting and complaining.
I deserve all this.
I'm being selfish, I know.
But I just don't understand.

Dear Father...

.
You've always been so faithful to me.
You've cared for me.
You've never failed to give me answers, eventually.
You've always given me what I needed.
You've closed doors, even when I wanted to go my own way.
You've proven your love for me.
Not only that, but you've proven it to be far greater than any other love, and far more faithful and true than anything else I can ever imagine.
My life has a plan, and purpose, and it's all because of you.
I have hope, and a future... because of you.
You've always shown me what's right.
You've taught me not to judge.
You've taught me how to love.
You've taught me how to put my past behind me completely, even though I got a lot of cuts and bruises along the way.
You've taught me how to be a leader, and a shepherd.
You've shown me the way.
You've shown your love to me, and through me.
You've given me wisdom, and strength, and knowledge.
but also, you've given me a sinful nature, and the ability to be mournful, but you always used those for your benefit, and my benefit.
You tested me.
I've failed, many times, but it made me learn, and understand, which glorified you even more.
You've given, and you've taken away.
You know what I need, and you know what I can't have.




God, I can't even fully explain.
But You are far more than anything or anyone else will ever be.

Be the center of my life.
Don't let me put anything else before You,
or else tear my world apart so that I may see again!!
Strike me down.
Break my heart.
Make me weak...

...So that only You can make me strong again.