New Blog.

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Holly has a blogger now.

At last, she's normal.

Check it out!
And notice how totally spiffy her layout is too, because I made her get it.
:-P

Oh dear...

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Mission New Orleans...

... is in two and a half weeks!

AHHHH!


scary scary scary scary... I don't know what to dooo.
Oh well... God's faithful. He will provide.

Note to self:

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...Perfect love gets rid of fear...
1 John 4:18


Remember that, Katie, gosh darnit!
Thanks Brittany, for posting that verse on your blog! That totally made my day!.. even though it's midnight... *shrug*

Disciple Now 2008

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I promised a blog after I got back from D-now, mainly because I have so much to say and reflect on.
Every year, I come back and say to everyone that D-now was simply amazing and that's all. I couldn't describe how God spoke to me or anything. I could easily say that now, but that won't do justice for those who weren't there. So... I'll give you my whole and honest opinion.

This year's topic was titled "Feed Me". It focused on reading God's word on our own every day, and applying it to our daily lives.
I'm going to be honest with you... I went to d-now with a heavy heart. I had too much on my mind, and certainly way too much stressing me out at home. I was coming to d-now hoping and praying that somehow my problems will be solved and I wouldn't have to be upset about them anymore. I didn't know what to expect this weekend, but on Friday night, God was already stirring in the hearts of everyone. The worship session was a different experience, but most of all, my grade's personal session that evening was incredible. Each girl openly talked about their lives, why they were there, and what they needed help with from God. Some of those girls had doubts about the weekend… they thought it wasn't going to be good at all now that Northwood church wasn't with us this time. They admitted they were very far from God, but were somehow called to come this weekend. That session with our group certainly unified the 10th grade girls, and it sure did prepare us for the weekend.
Saturday morning, all of us spent some personal alone time with God. Considering we all had the same devotional book for the year, each of us were reading the same thing and got to talk about it as a group after our alone time. That same morning, God reminded me of His promise... His promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He will always be there, ready to take me into his arms again even though I've strayed. God was showing me His love never fails... He's my Strong Deliverer and will always lead me towards His way. That thought gave me overwhelming comfort. I could rest in the fact that God was there always! Yes!
So anyways, I'm sure many other people got a different message out of the quiet time, but those are my thoughts.

After the service project that afternoon, we returned to church in the evening for the last large session. We all new something cool was going to happen... because that's what it's like at every d-now on the saturday night lesson. We weren't sure what to expect, but we knew it was going to be good... and I have to say, it was far better than "Good".
Before the worship began, Satan was already trying to let me down. He was trying to distract me from what God was trying to say to me. As I stood there I thought... "Why am I doing this? Why am I going to let Satan control me? Am I going to sit here and let these words pass right over me and not get anything out of them? No! I'm not...."
So anyways.. Satan was gone now and I was soo ready for worship. haha.

I am happy to say that worship was awesome... it was loud and overwhelming with the presence of God. I don't think one person ended with the same thoughts and feelings they had before they began.
Personally, I wanted God to just break my heart... I know that sounds weird to some people, but I didn't want to be let down by other things anymore. I didn't want to carry around my problems wherever I went.. I wanted to be free! I wanted God to break my heart and free me from those things putting me down. I wanted to fall right in front of God and give those things to Him forever! The lesson was about committing to reading God's word every day. Bill spoke and it was honestly like God was standing on the stage rather than him. He told me of His word... His instruction manual for me... and His love letters to me. He wants to have a personal relationship with me and the only way I can achieve that and digging into His word and applying it to my life. I want to grow in Christ, and I want to be closer to Him than I've ever been before! After the message, Bill had an invitation for us to come up to the altar, and light a candle symbolizing our commitment to read and apply the word to our lives. As many people crowded to the front, I still sat in my chair with my face down, holding that unlit candle. Meanwhile the band was playing a hymn called "How Deep the Father's Love for Us", which reminded me of how my own sin have kept Jesus up there on the cross. I'm the one that caused Him to be nailed to that wood! But He did that because He loves me! How deep the father's love for us, indeed! His love for us couldn't be greater or less! He sacrificed everything for our lives! Now, can any of you tell me that we shouldn't read His word and have a personal relationship with Him who gave His life for us? Can anyone tell me they don't have enough time to spend a few minutes everyday with Him who loves us more than anyone else possibly can?! Can you!? Can anyone?! I sure can't! I want to grow close to Him! I want to read His word every day! I'm HUNGRY for Him! I want to FEED MYSELF rather than only growing two days out of the week. Can I only eat food two days out of the week? No.. I have to eat every single day in order to maintain strength. Is that any different than Christ? No... we have to be fed every day in order to maintain spiritual strength, and let me say now that I began this weekend so empty of food and so spiritually weak. It's like I went so long without it, that I didn't know I needed it anymore. I didn't feel the hunger.. but I can now say that I have never been more hungry for Christ and I'm ready to feed myself every day! I don't want to miss a meal!
With that said... I got out of my seat to light my candle. I set that candle up on the stage along with everyone else’s and knelt down, noticing how many candles there were. I saw possibly hundreds of candles lit... one for every person that made a commitment to follow Christ every day. It was an overwhelming moment that filled with heart with joy and conviction and I'm not sure that I've seen anything more beautiful than that.

After the session at church, we all returned to our host homes for another small group session with just the 10th grade girls. It was a time of reflection for those who had anything to say about what God told them at church that evening. One by one, everyone told their testimonies. One girl told us that she recommitted her life to Christ. Another girl told us that she's been living life only for herself for way too long, and has finally made a commitment to change for good and start living for Christ. Another girl told us of how God healed her from a traumatizing situation that happened three years ago. There were also several girls admitted that they hadn't heard from God in a long time, but now they have joy again... they hear God talking, and they can feel God's presence again and it honestly changed them! I'm confident that this is not just a d-now high, but we were all truly changed by what God did this weekend. I was the last one to talk about their testimony... I told them I've been struggling with depression and anger for way too long. My life went downhill very fast about a year ago, and I've had trouble letting go of all that fear that was built up during that time. Like I said earlier, I wanted to be free from those fears and burdens. I came before God that evening the just told him... I want to be FREE! SET ME FREE GOD! SET ME FREE FROM ALL THIS FEAR! and you know what??... God set me free! I don't have that fear anymore! I don't have to be angry with myself anymore! I don't have to be angry with anyone else anymore! I don't have to live in fear every day anymore! And it's an AMAZING feeling! It's an amazing feelings because I can honestly say that Christ lives in me and he will live in me for eternity and I don't want to let a single thing come between me and my personal relationship with Christ because that is far more important than anything else in the world!
GOD SET ME FREE! GOD SET JESSIE FREE! AND TAYLOR FREE! AND JANAE, AND JACLYN, AND KELSEY AND RACHEL AND EVERYONE ELSE! And it showed... the freedom shows...because Christ is our Strong Deliverer.

So that’s pretty much what I said for my testimony. I told them that God has set me free and I'm filled with joy now. Our group leader, Sommer talked about it after that. She even admitted that she's been living is depression and fear for the past year and it's been hard. She wanted to be set free too! She just went on and on about how Christ is in control of our lives. He directs our path. He brings us back to Him. He never stops loving us, and you know that else? He will always be speaking to us! Every time we open God's word and get something out of it, God is speaking to us. Every time we listen to a worship song and something sticks out to us, God is speaking! Why do you say you never hear from God? Why do you say you don't hear His voice? He's speaking! He has always been speaking! He's been calling your name trying to get you back, but everything in life is crowding around and distracting your mind and you can't hear that faint whisper from Christ. Everything is piling up so high that you don't feel the love of God close by. I could easily say that Jesus love you, and you should love Jesus, and nothing else should matter in the world. As much as that sounds so cliche and small, it's true. You're underestimating the meaning of it. Christ loves us... do you know what that means? Do know what He did to express that Love? Yeah.. he died for me..... Yes, of course He died for me, but he suffered through impassable pain and agony and everything possible in the process. Before Christ's crucifixion, He was distressed to death, as Sommer put it... He was sweating blood. He had a fear greater than any of us will ever experience. Jesus even asked God if there was any other way, but there wasn't. Dying on the cross and going through the worst pain anyone can ever go through is the price that had to be paid for our lives. If Jesus didn't love us this much, we wouldn't have gone through that. But He does love us. He loves us so much that he was beaten and bruised. His body was mutilated. He was mocked and made fun of. He was treated worst than dirt. Can you tell me now that Jesus doesn't love you? Can you tell me that you can't rest in the fact that His love never fails and He's always there?? I sure can't say that. As much as I have felt that nobody cared... as much as I've been afraid, I can always know that Jesus loves me... and He will love me more than anyone else can. I can know that He is there to set me free again....always.



That's what God told me this weekend.
What did God tell you? If you didn't go, but just read my post, what has God told you from this? Do you just have any thoughts or comments?
I would really like a reply from all of you.



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2 Corinthians 12:9-10

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, is difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

This is a photograph that I did not take...

... Rather it is one that I can only describe.


Many people were crowded in front of the altar. Some knelt... some stood. They all felt the words of psalms fill their hearts. Each of them lifted their hands high, letting the spotlight shine between their fingers. It was as if they were looking up at a brilliant light from God in the midst of a dark room. The illumination was so bright, so blinding, yet so comforting. The pounding of the foot drum and the strumming of the acoustic guitar filled their ears. Voices and cries filled the room with overwhelming power as every soul was surrendered.



Tell me what you see. Hear? Feel?

Prayer Request

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I'm sure many of you have heard about this already. If not, than it's probably not any surprise...

My mom and I were talking about missions today... about the ones coming up at church as well as the ones at home(family). She's really excited that two of my cousins have been coming to church with me and have both accepted Christ since the beginning of the year. She now wants Holly and I to disciple them and build them up so they, too, can share their faith. Not only that, but my mom wants to be able to send them to San Antonio this summer for mission trip, as well as New Orleans next month and possibly D-Now this weekend. She thinks those trips would be very good for them. As much as I agree with all of this, she and I both know that's going to be very very hard on my family when it comes to finances. The money just isn't there, and Holly still wants to go to Romania, and I still want to go to Mexico. AHH!
Now, I have to edmit, I'm so stinkin' tired of asking for prayers for finances. Everyone has trouble with finances, especially when it comes to going to mission trips. There's only so much money that can go toward those. Sadly enough, my mom is stressing about it, and at this point prayer is all I can do.
Soooooo, could you all pretty please pray for my family?!.. mainly my cousins though... because I don't want anything more than to be able to send them on those mission trips coming up, instead of turning them down for stupid financial reasons. Blaaghh..

Backwards Forgiveness?

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Should we have to forgive God for "bad" things He did to us? Should we be angry with God for terrible things that happened in the past?
Should we?!


No.
We can't. We're not good enough to be angry with God. He's better than us. We're the ones making mistakes. We shouldn't have to forgive Him. He's the one that forgives us. We're the ones treating Him like trash. We're the ones betraying Him, disrespecting Him, and not following His plan. Does He still love us even after treating Him this way? Yes! He forgave us, He loved us, and He will always love us, even though we couldn't be farther from perfect.

I'm telling you this because too many people these days are angry with God for something He did to them that they didn't see as something they deserved. They felt God was punishing them or "taking someone away from them", or other similar issues. Sadly enough, those people didn't want to follow God anymore because they didn't feel that they could ever forgive God.

God isn't seeking for our forgiveness. God isn't trying to be "right" with us. Think about it! We will never be right with God... we will never measure up to Him. He is far greater than I, or anyone else will ever be! God is not seeking for forgiveness from us...because He's the one that forgives. He's the one that is eternally Faithful and Holy. He's the one that will love us no matter what, and forgive us every time we make a mistake... no matter how big or small.
For those of you who are angry with God... take notice that God was never angry with you when you turned your back on Him. He never hesitated to forgive you and continue that personal relationship with you. He never treated you wrong(despite what you may think). He never "took someone away" from you. He never did anything that wasn't part of His plan for you. He simply loved you, cared for you, and did everything possible to draw you closer and make you stronger.


So, rather than forgiving God, we must apologize to God for treating Him wrongly, and nailing His only Son on the cross because of what we did. We must ask Him to forgive us! Did He ever hurt us? No. We hurt Him, but thankfully God offered eternal forgiveness.
Do you choose to take it?



Let me know if you have any questions or comments.

Everything

Baptism

25 youth just got baptized this evening at Glenview's massive baptism night. Two of those youth are my cousins, Lauren and Tricia. I'm very proud of them, as well as everyone else there tonight!
Please continue to pray for each one of them, as they may possible be taking the first steps of their Christian walk. Pray that they will continue to live for Christ each day, and display God's love through them too.


By the way...
I was able to take some closer pictures of the baptisms. I'll send an email including all the photos to anyone who asks for it. :-D

Homeschool life

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I just remembered that I never informed you about my new Sonlight classes!
Oh by darn, that's terrible!

First day of Sonlight is tomorrow. Surprisingly, it's 10:13 p.m. Tuesday night, and I have everything done and ready. I'm hoping to be in bed at a "decent" hour tonight... or at least before 1:00...


1st hour: Swing Dancing.
Yes.. Swing dancing. I think it's going to be great, especially considering prom is coming up, and I nearly forgot all the steps that I learned before last year's prom. *shrug* Not only do I have a swing dancing class at Sonlight, but I also have one on Monday nights at Creative Arts for the next 2 weeks. :-D

2nd hour: Poetry
Basically, I suck at writing poetry. I don't know how well this is going to go. Fortunately, my teacher for this class is friendly. :-D

3rd hour: Research paper:
I've had a research paper class before. I don't like writing research papers, but it certainly could be worse. At least it's not deathly boring like most other writing classes... hopefully.

4th hour: Mapping the World by Heart*(Part 2)
For those of you who don't know what that is, it's drawing all the continents of the world on a grid map by memory, plus the details (such as mountains, capitols, deserts, country borders, bays, rivers, etc).
It's really challenging to get everything on the right coordinate, but overall it's a fun class. I've got the entire western hemisphere drawn so far. This semester is focused on everything else, including the inking and coloring. :-D
I'll post pictures of it once the school year is over.
(*this class is credited as a Geography class, not art. As much as it feels like an art class, it's based on studying each country and its culture and origin.)

5th hour: Spanish 2(part 2).
That pretty much explains itself.



It doesn't seem like a very big load, but it'll probably get harder after the first or second week(as it usually does). Pray for me this semester! I'd really like to work hard and be able to finish homework at the right time each week(as apposed to Tuesday nights). I need to get a job this semester too, which requires extra work and self discipline, seeing as how my parents are going to take on three jobs again, which leaves Holly and I to get everything done ourselves.

Many people have asking me, in confusion, "You homeschool yourself?!"
Yes, I do homeschool myself. Aside from classes once a week, I'm basically on my own. Some other teens tell me that they wish they could do that, because they could sleep in, eat whatever they want, and do their homework on their own time. I always reply with the same answer, "No, I don't sleep in. No, I don't eat whatever I want, I eat whatever I have(which is leftovers from who knows how long ago.. or a sandwich). And no, I have to have everything done before my parents get home from work, yet I have to work a minimum of eight hours. If I don't meet my mom's requirements, then I'm in trouble. Unless you have easygoing, well-paid parents, than you would have the same situation"

Anyways, I'd appreciate prayers very much, mainly for strength and diligence(and good grades!) throughout the semester.

My boredom and frustration has meet the point where I start posting surveys for no apparent reason.
*sigh*
I couldn't even come up with a title! Bah!





1. Is there someone who's always on your mind? No. My thoughts constantly change.

2. Why did you stop liking the last person you liked? I just didn't see any common sense in him. The whole thing was a disaster.

3. What is your name? You should know that....

4. Have you ever been to California? nope

5. How is life going for you right now? EH....Uhmm... Err......Hmm........ Puh!
Exactly like that.

6. Do you miss your ex? I don't have an ex to miss. :-D

7. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? I don't know... I suppose it's possible.

8. Who was the last person to comment you?
Blogger: Brittany
Myspace: Leah
Facebook: Haven

9. Regret(s)? Yep... I've got plenty.

10.What was the last reason you cried? I felt terrible... I was really sick this morning.

11. What was the first thing you said when you woke up today? I remember a very uncomfortable groan... than I tried saying something to my mom later on, but she couldn't hear me because my voice was gone.
Too bad I can't remember what I tried to say...

12. Is there a reason for your myspace song? Nah.. I just like it.

13. Do you have a best friend? yes

14. What was the reason your last relationship failed? Had no relationship to fail.

15. Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them? Yep.

17. Do you own a pair of green pants? No.. but I do have green shorts

18. Are you more independent or dependent? independent, I suppose.

19. Ever had the opposite sex over when no one was home? nope

20. Do you believe that what comes around goes around? Sometimes.

21. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries, fresh.

22. What is the most important thing in any relationship? visible Christianity. Just saying a prayer isn't going to fly with me. You have to live it and show it.

23. What is the last song to make you cry? No idea. Songs don't normally make me cry, unless at church every now and then, but even then it's not the song that makes me cry... it's the overwhelment of Christ behind it.

24. Does anyone love you? Jesus loves me. Churchy answer.. but it's true. He's probably the only one that will always love me too...

25. Do you love someone? yes, I do.

26. Is you're best friend pretty? Of course!

27. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? yes

28. Do you trust people easily? usually

29. Whats the one thing that always gets you through the day? There honestly isn't anything that will always, without a fail, get me through every day. God is the only one that has that ability, but it's my choice to let Him take control.. but I don't always do that.
Just being honest.

32. Where is one place you want to visit? Coloradooo. Never been. SOMEBODY TAKE ME THERE! PLEASE!

33. Do you like hugs or do you freak when people hug you? Neither. I LOVE them.

34. Ever felt that no one relates to you? Probably. I don't really ponder on that thought much though.

35. Had plans and broke them? Only because my plans were not in-line with Christ's

36. Done anything illegal? Yep

38. Are you a vegetarian? never

39. Have you ever had surgery? nope

40. Who are you jealous of? Ugh... Poo... Grr... Whatever... I don't know. Not really any one person in particular.

41. Are you a lover or hater?Lover.

42. Do you think your ex's new love is a player/hoochie? No ex. No ex's new love. How simple..

43. What does your best friend call you? Katie/Katerz

44. How many people would you say you've been "serious" with? NONE! I'm single as a pringle and I'm going to stay like that for awhile

45. What were you doing 4 hours ago? Doing spanish homework.

46. Have you ever called 911? no

47. Next vacation you're going on? New Orleans mission trip

48. Have you ever crawled through a window? I think so... I don't remember.

49. Has anyone ever crawled through your window? Yep. Holly did...