.I decided to post a "mood picture" for today.
For the majority of the day, I wasn't sure what kind of mood today was. This morning was alright. I felt pretty good for awhile, but I was very discouraged later afternoon and evening. I would have said today's mood was "pitifully scared" but I had no picture to match that, and it kinda changed after that. After all, it was only 10:00 pm at the time! ;)
I'm come to the conclusion that today's mood is "Meaningful".
I don't care if it's a "legalized" mood, but it works best right now. When I look at this picture, it reminds me of a ghost. Very pastel and bright, but kind of dark at the same time.
I went the majority of the day feeling like I have no meaning to anyone's life. I was not benefiting anyone, and everything that had previously been told to me about my importance has now been erased. I felt hopeless, like a wandering cloud that has so significant meaning. After talking to a friend for a while, I became very vulnerable to him. (Same thing happened Friday night with another friend as well). I hold him as many things about me and my past sins as I could without burning his ears out with vulnerability. I wasn't feeling guilt for anything, and I wasn't really trying to repent for anything. I simply wanted to let him know what kind of stuff I've been through. After talking for not more than five minutes, he broke. He confessed of his same exact sin, which he had not been able mention to anyone before now. He had never been able to forgive himself, much like myself a year ago. In a matter of 20 minutes, this seemingly stead-fast guy turned into jello, and everything was pure joy and what was heavy was now lifted. He was "floating" on forgiveness and reassurance of his salvation.
I went the majority of the day feeling like I have no meaning to anyone's life. I was not benefiting anyone, and everything that had previously been told to me about my importance has now been erased. I felt hopeless, like a wandering cloud that has so significant meaning. After talking to a friend for a while, I became very vulnerable to him. (Same thing happened Friday night with another friend as well). I hold him as many things about me and my past sins as I could without burning his ears out with vulnerability. I wasn't feeling guilt for anything, and I wasn't really trying to repent for anything. I simply wanted to let him know what kind of stuff I've been through. After talking for not more than five minutes, he broke. He confessed of his same exact sin, which he had not been able mention to anyone before now. He had never been able to forgive himself, much like myself a year ago. In a matter of 20 minutes, this seemingly stead-fast guy turned into jello, and everything was pure joy and what was heavy was now lifted. He was "floating" on forgiveness and reassurance of his salvation.
You'd think that by 10 pm, if everything wasn't fine by then, your day is basically screwed
But my mood went from meaningless, to meaningful.
I actually impacted someones life, however I dedicate it all to Christ.
I actually impacted someones life, however I dedicate it all to Christ.
With that said, I am almost like a wandering spirit. I'll go wherever the Lord takes me, and there I will work, and there I will make an impact. I don't appear to be a problem-solver, because I'm not at all. I'm a servant hidden behind a totally normal person who may not even smile all the time! Imagine that!
I feel hopeful.
No comments:
Post a Comment