I recall one evening at youth during the summer. The band decided to host a full night of worship. This was exciting to me, because I hear God most through music and art. The evening was spectacular, by all means, but God laid a burden on my heart for someone that does not know Christ.

My life intersects with this person's life in a very personal way. I'm sure if this person never came to know Christ I would be devastated, especially knowing that I will be in heaven for eternity and this person will always be suffering.
That scares me.

I don't know what to do to reach out, but I know I need to do something, whether that be simple communion or encouragement. Just... something.
But it hurts to no end.
I'm at a loss of words.
How could I possibly help?


I wish we all shared the same hope.





God, give me strength and wisdom, and the opportunity to reach out to this person.

Sometimes I forget how quickly my life changes.

I'm completely aware that I haven't posted on here in nearly 3 months. I kinda feel like I've let this whole summer pass by, but then I realized that the only problem was that I didn't stop and notice the things that really made a difference.
I was talking to a good friend of mine this week about how entering high school as a freshmen really tests your maturity. What matters, and what doesn't? When should I and shouldn't speak? When is it okay to be loud and social(and sometimes obnoxious). What's really worthy to be upset about? When do I say "no"?. What are my highest priorities? .. and what is the foundation of my life and everything in which I believe?
To a middle schooler, these things are "subconsciously" important, but aren't really applied. My church's middle school group seems to become less and less mature every year, but then I realized it's just me growing up.

I'm entering my senior year. I read status updates on facebook today from 2009 seniors. They talked about how awesome their new colleges are and how cool their dorms and apartments look. I thought to myself "They're college students?? Really??"... then I realized I'm not too far behind them. I'm graduating in just over 9 months.
Truth me told, I have a lot of very large decisions to make in the next two or three years... decisions that, a year ago, I never even thought would cross my mind as a serious consideration. I'm finally facing the time in my life when I really have to think as an adult. What's best for me, and the rest of my life? These things were always "subconsciously" important to me, but they simply weren't applied yet. Now I see.

Pray for me as I set off into my senior year. I'm not dreading the return of school for once in my life. I think I'm fairly well prepared. The summer was fun and I learned a lot, but I'm ready to turn to the next page. I'm anxious to see what happens.


Pray for me. This is probably going to be most challenging year of my life. I'm going to need some strength and wisdom.

btw, does anyone want to be my accountability leader?

Whoops...

I coulda sworn I posted a more recent blog..
I guess not.

Here are some random updates I'll fill you in on.


1). College decisions still quite undecided, if not more complicated. I'm not really sure what to even think about all these possibilities anymore, nor do I know if I should go after what I want with full force, especially if it's going to fail. How do I try to achieve a goal and guard my heart at the same time?
Btw, college possibilities as of this week are TWU(Denton), UTA(Arlington), and Hallmark(Mass.).
Let me know if you want more details on these. I'll gladly explain.

2). Started some summer classes at TCC last week. My computers class is a drag.. and my English class is actually not as bad as I thought it would be. My teacher is entertaining enough the homework isn't terribly heavy. We watched Shawshank Redemption in class this week. Once you get past all the language, it's a great movie. :-D (we watched it for our next paper).

3). For those of you who didn't know, I got a car nearly a month ago... my own car, that's not the cruddy oldsmobile we've had for ages. That car has had it's days. :-D
Unfortunately, my radio didn't work, so my dad fixed that today.. but then we found out five of the six speakers don't work. *sigh*
One will do for now. :-P

4) It's impossible to get a job in the summer. Oh.. my.. gosh. Being a teenager sucks because all the entry level jobs are taken by all the *other* teenagers. Bah...

5). I decided I'm going to go to New York someday.. maybe several times.
I'm incredibly jealous of Trint and Tammy for going there for their 10 year anniversary.
:-P

6) It seems as if every year of my life has a theme to it. 8th grade was fear and faith, 11th grade was strength and forgiveness, and now it's like I've being constantly encouraged to try my best in everything and setting goals for myself. I know I've gotten this type of encouragement all my life, but it's way more emphasized now. I don't have any doubts that God is trying to tell me something through all these sporadic messages, but I'll be completely honest, I still have no idea what goals to set.
Maybe this is also a year of patience...

Urgent!

Pray pray pray!!

I swear, I couldn't need it any more than now.
God has complete control over this... and it's beating me to the freaking core because of the mere thought of how incredible POWERFUL God is...
I need strength and guidance, I need a divine intervention!
I CAN NOT tolerate Satan getting in the way of this. I JUST CAN'T!

This is God you're dealing with.. powerful stuff.



Gah, I can't properly express what I'm thinking right now, not even in words on a blog.
JUST PRAY!
Pray for me!
Pray that Satan will stay away, so God can do his work.
Pray that ears and hearts will be opened...
PLEASE..
This is a radical mission field I've never experienced before... at least, not at this level.
This is such a huge deal to me, I can't even sit still... it shivers my spine.


God, send me!!

I need a lot of prayer... mostly for strength to accomplish small things, as well as large things, like college and a job.
I'm so swamped with stuff to take care of.
I may grow weak, unless of course I continue to find my strength in Christ constantly.

But this is why I need prayer. I'm only human, but I wanna try...



I'll try to be more specific in my blogs later on.. but it's late. I'm going to bed.
Goodnight, faithful readers.

Hello, strangers

Haven't updated in nearly a month.
Sorry, I forgot!
Nothing personal. :-)


Galveston mission trip was phenomenal. God blessed me by making a way for me to go, and blessed me even more by working through me on the mission field in Galveston. The most interesting thing about my experience was that my purpose was not wholly to serve the people in Galveston, but also minister to and encourage other team members from Glenview. I returned home with a new good friend, who is now a follower of Christ as of two weeks ago. Not only is God blessing me with a good friend, but He is also giving me the opportunity to disciple a new believer.
God has been building me up lately, for a leadership role... now I'm pretty sure I know why.
As my faithful readers, I ask that you pray for me.. that I keep up with my devotions with God and continue to grow in him as I face the challenges of teaching.
Also pray that I can get a "Paul" to help disciple me also.


I may post more often, depending if I can remember. I've had a lot on my mind lately that I want to post or update on.
I guess we'll see.


Blessings,
Katie

I'm going to Galveston.
God blessed me.


:-)




InOtherNews:


I've been thinking about what I'm going to do after high school. I'm going to be a senior pretty soon, so I suppose it's about time to think about it.
I spoke with my painting teacher on Monday about the school her granddaughter is going to (whom is one of my friends also).
She's going to the Hallmark Institute of Photography in Massachusetts. Obviously, it's a school strictly for photography.
This is like... my dream, to say the least.

Unfortunately, it's in Massachusetts, where it's expensive to live.. plus the tuition in $60,000.
But, it's an 11 month school.. not four year, so I'd be done pretty quick and won't even have to deal with taking all those English classes and such in college. Heck, SAT scores don't even matter, which is a bonus because I already know I'm going to suck at SATs.
I would have to wait a year after graduation to go(possibly even two) to save the money with a full time job. After talking to my teacher and looking at the website, the money that is spent on the year attending the school will be easily earned back in sales the next year, which is pretty kick-butt if you ask me. The training in fantastic, which included photoshop, lighting, and running your own business. Not only that, but the tuition comes with a camera.. the best one being made at the time, which alone is a several thousand dollar value.

*drool*

Man, would I love to go there. So many pros and cons though...
This is something to pray about.

No complaints.

Not this time...

I remember on several occasions, I would be dramatically worried about money for mission trips, prom, and other various events in spring.
Glenview is leaving this Saturday morning on the family mission trip to Galveston. Unfortunately, I was an idiot and forgot to apply for a scholarship early-on considering I couldn't pay for it, but it turns out my parents could have paid if they wanted to, but I had to *earn* the money myself to go. I didn't get that memo until yesterday...
So, with that said, I kicked into gear to earn some money. I offered to work for my grandmother yesterday with any household chores(she always needs that kinda help), so she sent me over to her house and had me do some fairly small stuff for her. She paid me a generous amount, which included birthday money as well.
That helped a whole lot..
but I still have a little more to go. I plan to work around the neighborhood tomorrow to earn the rest, which hopefully won't be too stressful. It's not that much to get, but I have no clue how stubborn my neighbors are.
Hmm..

But this is what I'm posting this blog for!
I need prayers that I'll get what I need, and also for peace in my family. A lot is going on and everything is very hectic around the house right now, so prayers for that would be nice.
I can't complain though, God has blessed me a lot already. I didn't have a hard time at all finding a dress, date, and ticket for prom this year. No dress stresses for once, which helps a whole lot. I've also managed to find time to work on my school, which is an abnormally light load this semester. Only thing I can say about that is that I'm sucking at Computers Class at TCC because the Word and Excel software I have to use to do homework and labs are not on my home computers, so I can only do homework in class, which leads to a LOT of undone homework and horrible grades. I think half my current grades are F's, which really stresses me out because my mom will be ticked if I fail. I may end of spending the day at the TCC library on Tuesdays and Thursdays to work on those while Holly is in her class.
I guess we'll see...


OnADifferentNote:

I entered (at least) two of my photos into a photography exhibition at TCC that will be displayed in a couple weeks. I've also entered a painting I did last semester into the Watauga Public Library art competition, also in the next couple weeks. I submitted my work last week, and the clerk at the desk asked if I had any other artistic sisters, and continued to ask about a drawing entered last year of Jesus. Turns out she was talking about mine, which I was excited about, because I didn't think people would remember my stuff that much.
My mom went to the Library today to see what other people had entered. She also talked to the desk clerk and asked about why they didn't have a photography section. The lady said that many people have asked, and they considered doing a separate competition for photography. She followed my suggesting just a show instead of a competition. She then asked my mom if I had enough photography to put up my own show there at the Library and if I'd be interested.
"Of course!"
So my mom came home and told me about it and asked if I wanted to put up a display show at the Library. It's not a solid plan yet, but it could potentially happen in early May.
:-D







I think that's all the news I have so far.
:-)

Leaders

.
What makes a leader?
What makes a person capable of being a mentor?
What makes a person trustworthy?
What makes a person admirable?

I'm puzzled.


I've gotten several comments and references lately that Kason and I are "good examples" or "good mentors"... Some comments even toward me, saying I am a good role model.
Someone told me today that I was officially their big sister, and that came from a guy significantly taller than me.
This is strange to me, because I've never considered myself to be a wonderful leader, nor have I ever been told straight forward that I was a good role model.
Is this just my lack of self-esteem or is this true?

I really don't understand, and I really don't feel like I diverse this.
And what is it that makes my relationship with Kason worth following? Most people would look down upon teen relationships with hopeless expectations. What makes our relationship different?

I'm seriously very curious.. I'm hoping for some kind of reply here.
Could you let me know, perhaps?

Compilation Update:

.
I love How God can restore anybody from anything.
I made an effort to write down the verses I've been reading and what I'm learning from them. It helps me remember what I read about 3 days ago rather than forgetting by the next morning. Plus, the sermon on Wednesday night fit exactly to what I read the night before in Romans 6, and today's Sunday school lesson fit exactly to what I studied about three months ago in 1 Corinthians 13. Staying in the word has given me more strength lately, and I praise God for that. I'm also thankful for how much God has been confirming things to me through scripture and the church.
It's exciting.
I must say, though, that there are still a lot of uncertainties floating around right now which can be scary sometimes. I just hope I don't get discouraged.


--------------------------------

School started on Wednesday. Considering I did most of my core classes last semester, this semester is going to be significantly lighter. Two are wholly spiritual growth classes(which I love very much already), and another is painting. That leaves Government and World History, which are only tough if I don't put any time into them.
I'm thankful for my load this semester.. at least, so far.


-------------------------------

My family went out to take pictures today. I had a use up a current role of film before Tuesday, so my mom suggested going somewhere pretty. She decided on the Great Wolf Lodge. I'd never been before, but it turned out to be fairly nice. Looks like an insanely fun place to stay, but not a whole lot of really good pictures ideas came to mind. I filled up a role and half though, so nothing really to complain about.
oh!
and my parents have been talking to me lately and they've decided that they're going to save up to get me a nicer camera. I'll probably look around to find some deals within $500 or so.
It might be a while, considering our income is slow, but I certainly appreciate the change of mind on their part. :-)
In the mean time, my dad might help me build a website and my mom's looking to help me find an internship with a local photographer. I'm not sure how that will go, considering that takes a little more time and "experience". I may end up having to find any job right now, regardless of what it is, just because I need a better income, especially considering my expenses this spring.
I don't know.. I guess I'll see what happens.

--------------------------------

Prayers would be appreciated(in any area)













Ohh! One more thing!!
Happy three month, Kason!
Ahaha
:-D

I've let myself slip.

Pride, anger, and reliving my past.
Nobody else really had anything to do with it, I kinda brought it all on by myself.
I've said and done things I shouldn't have.
I've hurt some people, and I've hurt myself.
I've become a mess..
I've caused problems. A family member told me this evening that I just caused permanent damage between several people.
I wasn't trying to hurt anyone, but it happened.
I wasn't trying to get in trouble, but I did.
I wasn't trying to relive bad memories, but my carelessness caused them to be relived.


I don't want to be negative...
I'd much rather not be upset, but how do I learn if I don't experience humility first?


I'm sorry.
The example I've given has been sucky lately.



I'm going to go talk to God now.

I need a break from the reality of this world.. or at least the stresses of it... or maybe I just need the ability to withstand them better.
I'd like to spend the whole day alone, laying on my bed, and praying until I have nothing left to pray about.

I am in pain.
I'm tired.
and I am spiritually hungry.


I need to go.
I'll post another update.. eventually.


Pray for me.

Change

.
There's something about me that's been a whole lot different lately. I'm not sure if it's the new year, or the realization that some things just aren't worth stressing over. I don't know, but it seems I've been more open lately, like I'm not trying to hide anything, hold anything back, or keep my true personality from being shown. I'm not sure who else has noticed this(if anyone), but I could easily say that I'm not so scared anymore.
While my my and I were considering photography internship jobs for me, she sent an email to our family and school photographer about suggestions. My mom knew I had a flickr account with my photos, so she asked me for the link to send to him. She'd never seen it before herself until after she sent the email last Wednesday. I came back from church and my mom wanted to talk to me about the stuff I had posted, more specifically the descriptions on a few of them that voice my struggles. She never knew what I was have problems with, much less that I was having problems with anything. My mom has been totally oblivious to any of my problems and stresses my entire life unless they came out in some argument. She didn't know I was depressed and scared all 2007, and she didn't know I was upset for the past few months. These problems aren't much of problems anymore now, but it's just funny how she never seemed to figure it out. I seem to have done a pretty good job hiding it. I wasn't trying to, I just don't show my emotions to my family.
This past week, my personality and talents have been a whole lot more evident to my mom. I think her access to my flickr page now has a lot to do with it, but it's not like I'm scared to post something because I know she's going to see or read it. I'm glad that she has a better idea of who I am and what my passions consist of. Who knew that I liked photography so much?? Probably just the people that have seen my work, but she hadn't seen much at all, nor was I willing to show her. I don't know why, but I just didn't want to show her that much. Her seeing those now makes her understand why I really want to learn more and get better. Her reading my communications also lets her know how people have treated me, and how people treat me now. She knows what has upset me, and she knows what has comforted me. I can't assume she understands every little signal, and I can't expect her to know everything about my life, or even half, but it's much better than what it used to be, where everything important she found out about me was through anger.


I've made it a point to be more open this year, and express my inner personality that a lot of people don't see. I'm glad to see it's making progress. It's been a little hard. It wasn't easy to talk to my mom about my page, but it's turned out better. I've gotten over things, I've admitted things, I've grown, and ultimately, other peoples action toward be have been more respectful.. at least some of the time.

Families are difficult, but I am pleased.
God has lead me through...






Oh, by the way, my mom has made a flickr page now. Took her all day because of her lack of computer savviness, but it's weird considering she has never taken part in an internet social or sharing site before. :-O

It's over.

.

After four months... of confusion, pain, fear.. and complete and utter silence...

He came back, just to apologize.


I cried...
hard.




I.. haven't felt this free in so long.
At last, it's over. It's really.. really over.



My God is faithful...

Rest

Today has been tiring in every way.

Creative Arts in Action had a homeschool swing dance night tonight. I've been a few times before, but not in a while, so I decided to go and bring Kason with me, considering he doesn't know how to dance yet.It turned out to be great! Kason learned a lot, and I apparently made him realize that I *can* dance.. people just don't realize it because I only do it in homeschool dance socials. :-PWe're planning on going to another swing dance lesson at Creative Arts later in March. Until then, I'll help Kason practice.. because he's THAT eager. ;)

After wearing myself out physically, I headed over to Kason's for a while. He showed me a song he composed this afternoon for me. It was supposedly a very soothing song, considering I couldn't fall asleep last night until 6:30 a.m. He took into consideration that I needed something to help me fall asleep, so he wrote me an instrumental song!After resting a bit and lounging around, some old memories came to mind.. ones made near'y two years ago, and some four years ago. They were negative memories that involved family and even strangers. I didn't say much about it, but I became thoughtful of the situations. They are clearly very old memories, but what made them come to mind? What made them that important, and why are they still bringing me down now? I was kinda puzzled, but I felt captivated by my mood. Kason asked why I was upset, but I wasn't sure what to tell him. My mind was too mixed for words. I'm not even sure if I told him anything, but he did his best to help.
The fact is, I'm so insanely emotionally tired of becoming upset over bad memories and fears. They have nearly consumed the past two or three years of my life, and I'm pretty darn tired of letting myself do that. I need rest, emotionally and spiritually. I need a redemption from this mess. It's gone too long..
I'm not sure how he did it, but Kason just kept talking to me as if he was reading my mind. I was without words for probably 30 minutes but he kept talking and comforting me. I broke into silent tears about two or three, but I still didn't say anything. After a while, Kason tells me to do whatever I needed to do to pray about it right then.. outloud, silent, folded hands, whatever. He told me that God wants to take my burdens and throw them away completely. God wants to give me rest, the kind of rest I've needed in my heart for so long. Kason held me in his arms, and I prayed silently to myself. My face was covered, but it felt like my soul was screamed out for some kind of help that only God can give me. Kason was praying too.. I don't know what he said, but I could hear him. He was stroking my hair... All the while, I was crying like a little girl reaching for the arms of her Father.

I've just been so worn out, like I've been running and running for days without sleep. My soul is weary and my heart in tired. I can't take the beating and stresses. How can I stand against future trials if I'm not rested and strong? How can I forgive myself of future regrets if I cannot forgive myself for past mistakes? How can I resist future unreasonable scolding if I can't first overcome past words.

It's fairly simple really.
I'm just so tired, emotionally.
I.. need.. rest.



Lord, grant me peace and a rested heart. I need redemption...





http://www.flickr.com/photos/30743426@N07/3202526301/

Just some thoughts...

.

Freedom.

What is it? How does it feel? How long does it last? How is it embraced??
I don't know about you, but I think freedom is when the thing that keeps you captive no longer has the ability to grab you anymore. The figurative "chains" are broken. The burdens are lifted and destroyed. The kidnapper is locked away. The mistakes and sins are forgiven. Love is restored and revealed. You are completely and utterly free. No worries. No concerns. You are forever free.
That is freedom to me.
What I don't understand is when people say they're free one day, but come back the next all scared and worried. What happened to freedom? What happened to lifting your burdens to God? Did you take it back?? Why?!

I'll admit, I've struggled with this a lot. I've had my fair share of captivity, but it took me so much longer to become free again than it should have, and even now, things hold me down. I've been a prisoner to words, fears, insecurity, and the toughest judge.. myself. I've set up my own bars, and placed my fears so perfectly that it's hard for an outsider to break them. I've found that I can't even break them myself. I can't even overcome myself! I've trapped myself in my own prison and the only way out is by the help of someone higher than myself. I've mixed up emotions of self-pity and pride that I really don't know how to view other people or myself. My head's filled with puzzles and mix-masters that nothing makes sense.
What can I do?? What is there for me, a human, to change?
Absolutely nothing. I've been idle and confused for so long. I tried so hard to break down my own walls but I found more and more behind the corner.
I just can't take it anymore. My effort is a lost cause.
I've just come to realize that this fear is a lost cause too. All these walls and bars and insecurities... do they mean that much? Do I need them? Are they really that crucial? Or maybe they're "Just too hard to overcome...". Maybe I'm "Just too weak".
But who am I to say that? How did I get here? How did I inherit life? Where did I get my hope and how?? Christ is the one that carried my sins. He's the one that withstood the greatest pains, hardships, and ridicules. He made it through, and gave me life. Who the heck am I to say it's "just too hard"?? This is nothing. This is just a petty problem compared to what Christ had to overcome.
This is ridiculous.
I was made free. I was brought to life in Christ. I am set free from the burdens of sin and guilt. Why am I still stuck in the mud of my own pity? It doesn't make sense!

I'm seeking for freedom. I've found that my effort is a lost cause, so I decided that I'm not going to do anything except give all this to Christ. I'm returning home, and I'll talk to Him. I am that prodigal son. I'll fall on the floor with my face to the ground if I have to.. but this has got to all go to Christ. I can't handle it. I can't even try it anymore. I've hit the bottom of the bottom-less pit. This is it. I am done. This is Christ's situation now. It is not of my concern anymore. I don't do this because it's "just too hard". Yes, it is higher than my abilities, but giving it to Christ alone takes strength.. every single bit I have, because even though I'm giving it up, I have to have faith that it will be handled and I don't worry about it. I have to have faith that those chains will be broken, and I will become free from captivity. But that's what it takes, and I'll do it.
Christ is with me.
I WILL NOT BE A PRISONER ANYMORE!





FATHER! TAKE THESE CHAINS AND SHATTER THEM!!!
Take this heart and mend it...

Unto You I put my trust...


~Katie

First post of the year!

.

Sorry it took me so long to update. I kinda sorta forgot to! :-O
By bad...


So it's a new year, eh? Time for "starting over" and trying to succeed at New Year's Resolutions that truly never will be succeeded.I've read several people's blogs about 2008 and it's pros and cons, and their goals for 2009. I found it kind of interesting so I'll write one here.


Best and Worst!


Worst:
- Struggling endlessly with writing and English classes. Painfully failed poetry with a D, and didn't do well on my first essay of the fall semester.
- Faced issues with close friends that brought me down with their problems
- Managed to break or strongly disable two cameras
- Had many fights with the fam.
- Had a close friend rushed to the hospital.. same night I was in a fight with the fam.
- Had serious emotional problems during Mission New Orleans. (Came through eventually, but some days were off)
- Had my prom date drop out on me
- Had 3 1/2 weeks of SAT classes during the summer, which only decreased my score.
- Got a horrible sunburn at Six Flags in San Antonio on August 1st.. which can still be seen to this day.
- Struggled with the possibility that my family would move overseas.
- Broke one of my original new years resolutions.
- Fell into rotten temptation. Did a lot of stuff I'm not proud of.
- Was lied to by someone for awhile, which also made me lie to myself. Big whole mess.Long story. Physically and emotionally beat up many times.
- Lost some friends
- Still didn't get a job yet.
- And last, the constant struggle of overwhelming fear.


Best:
- I got the chance to go on THREE mission trips.. New Orleans, Mexico, and San Antonio.. where I was a chaperon for middle schoolers. I also revisited my 8th grade mission trip VBS site.
- Witnessed lives get saved and adoration to God being expressed through song in 2 different languages in unison(very cool).
- Two of my cousins started coming to church with me right after new years of 08. Both either became Christians or recommitted their lives to Christ, and both were baptized.
- Three of my cousin's friends visited church one day too. All three gave their lives to Christ.
- Met The Wedding live at our church for d-now, and found out our band leader was joining them. :-O
- Visited FBC Watauga for d-now also. Awesomest sermons ever...very life changing. Found those same sermon recordings on youtube last week. I freaked.
- Turned 16. Didn't get my license for 8 more months, but I got in eventually!
- Met a buttload of new people. Lots of new friends.
- Watched the youth group at Glenview grow as youth ministers came and left. The body of believers stayed strong, and I saw God move in us.
- Realized more and more God's faithfulness, especially in time of need. God healed my heart, and still continues to do so.
- God provided friends and family that are an utter blessing to me and my relationship with Him.
- God used each burden and trouble in my heart and turned it around so I could become stronger. He showed me His endless glory.
- God brought me back home after I strayed. I came back broken and dirty, but I was made new again.
- I overcame my fear of talking to people about my problems or emotions. I opened an over
-packed bottle of secrets, anger, sadness, and even joy. I was set free! I let nothing stay held back.
- This holiday season has been the best in forever. Family is closer together, and moments are cherished rather than physical gifts.
- Pursued art and photography a little bit more as I try a lot of new things.
- God blessed me with Kason, my first real relationship. It's mind blowing to be with someone who acknowledges my flaws and bruises and stays patient with me as I continue to heal, and even helps me grow closer to Christ through my struggles instead of pull me away.
- and last, God has simply blown me away with an amazing year. It had it's immeasurably tough times, but what God did and how He showed himself to me every single day surpassed everything that could have possibly made the year a tragedy.

It's pretty clear that every negative thing that happened was eventually overcome by God and his glory. Times got tough and faith was lost, but it was always restored one way or another, if it's not in the restoration process right now. I'm thankful for such a blessed year full of steps and learning. I couldn't have gone without it.


Now, goals for 2009.....
- Get a job. Pay for what I need to and start saving for.. college?
- Succeed farther in arts in photography. Painting and photography classes this semester.. very excited.
- Somehow, someway, get a professional digital camera. I think that's the one material thing I want with a passion. Hah.
- Restart an unspoken resolution from last year.. and actually succeed(this is important, very very important!).
- Grow stronger in my daily walk with God. Become more resistant to temptations.
- Spend more time with God and strive daily for a better understanding of the Word.
- Become a stronger leader. Do harder things and make bigger sacrifices for God's kingdom.
- Make better grades! Starting senior year in the fall.. lets not get D's anymore!
- Grow more confident in myself, seeing as how I have very little.
- Grow even more closer to family.
- And last, just be able to take every situation in my life, big or small, good or bad, and use it to understand God more, bring Him glory, and change my lifestyle for the better.



Yep.
I may add on later as I remember more.